Pull Me Back Above the Surface
by MelloOwns
Summary: Akali moves into the K/DA home after the band recorded their first hit single Pop/Stars. It doesn't take long before she discovers there's a lot more to the group dynamic than she had originally thought, and she finds herself trying desperately to keep Evelynn's sinking spirit afloat. Akali x Evelynn
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! I wrote this K/DA fic about a year or so ago and finally decided to upload it. It's my first fic, so go easy on me.

This story is complete, though I may add an epilogue at some point. Struggling with whether or not I wanted to add one was the primary reason this wasn't uploaded after I finished it, but I figured it was finally time.

***Just a heads up, this fic has some pretty dark undertones. I don't want to post any content warnings here in the opening as some are pretty big spoilers, but I will go ahead and post anything I feel relevant at the end of each chapter. **If you'd like content warnings, check the bottom of each chapter first! **I'm not joking, some of this is kind of hard to swallow. I personally don't think any of the characters are OOC, but I definitely dug a bit deeper into their head-space than the lore ever would.***

* * *

Chapter 1 – No amount of preparation

"Wow, uh, this place is a lot bigger than I was expecting." Akali acknowledged, her excitement evident in her voice. She had spent most of her life living with her family, and while her childhood home was a place she would never speak poorly about, it certainly didn't hold a candle to this place.

Ahri was guiding her through her first official tour of the K/DA home. The burgundy-haired rapper had been asked to join the pop group a month and a half prior, in which time they recorded and released their record-breaking single Pop/Stars. Sure, Akali had felt the weight of fame through the interviews and fan meet-ups until this point, but it didn't fully sink in until the reality of getting to live in what was practically a mansion smacked her in the face.

Ahri laughed. "You'll get used to it in no time, promise!"

The energetic lead singer lead Akali through the gardens out front, pointing out some of her favorite lounging spots along the way. For some reason, the rapper was not surprised when her aloof guide sprawled herself out along the edge of a fairly elaborate granite fountain, not so subtlety decked out with ornate jade trimming.

"_This_ spot is my favorite," Ahri purred as she stretched herself out along the sun kissed, flat stone. "Buuut we have a tour to continue, and as much as I'd like to, I can't lay here all day," she said, her face sporting a practiced faux pout. "Let's head inside, I'm sure everyone else will be glad to officially welcome you!" The singer leaned in close to Akali and added in a hushed voice "and I bet Bokkie will have dinner ready soon. I'm starving!"

The fox-eared woman strutted towards the massive, white double doors at the front of the mansion. Why anyone would need an entryway that large, Akali would never understand.

Before Ahri could even place her hand on the doorknob, the door swung inwards revealing the K/DA dancer, who was absolutely covered in what looked to be… frosting, maybe? Akali couldn't help but let out a chuckle when she saw the purple-haired woman looking like she lost a fight with a cupcake elemental, but she didn't miss the glimmer of excitement in her eyes.

"Hey guys! Dinner is just about ready, but _don't _come in the kitchen until I say. I may, uh, have made a bit of a mess…" Kai'Sa trailed off as she spun around and sprinted towards what Akali could only imagine was the direction of the combat zone.

"So, don't mind her, she gets like that when she's motivated," her guide said as she shook her head, motioning with her hand for Akali to come inside.

To say that the gardens out front were extravagant would be an overstatement if they were to be compared to the inside of the house. The foyer was huge, with walls painted a soft baby pink and the wooden floors were made from a stunning pink ivory. The high ceiling was adorned with an oversized, crystal chandelier that could probably light the whole property were there no walls in the way. On the left wall was a large open archway, leading to what from here looked like a living room. On the opposite walls were two more doorways, the leftmost one a smaller open archway and the other a white door which was currently closed. Judging from the spattering of frosting bits coming from the doorway on the left, Akali assumed that to be the kitchen which was allegedly off limits.

"Since apparently we've been banished from the kitchen, let's check out the rest of the house before dinner," Ahri decided, starting towards the room on the left.

The living room, as Akali had guessed correctly, was colored a dark fuchsia with a plentiful amount of white and mirrored décor. The carpet was, in the rapper's opinion, a dangerously bright white which was just asking to have something spilled on it. She supposed that with the kind of money K/DA must have, they could probably just replace the whole carpet if the tiniest stain appeared.

It wasn't until Ahri called out a greeting that Akali realized there was someone else in the room. Evelynn, the fourth member of the pop group, briefly recognized their arrival by spouting a quick "hello" from where she was lounging on the fluffy, deep purple, leather sectional in the far corner of the room before setting her attention back on the phone in her hands.

"Bokkie said dinner would be done soon," the blonde woman told the diva, while pointing out to Akali which places were usually claimed by who.

"Oh, about that," Evelynn said with a hint of guilt in her voice, setting her phone down for the first time since the pair had entered the room. "I'm going to have to cut out early, I made plans."

"But you _knew_ we were doing this tonight, Eve. Bokkie has worked so hard on dinner and this was going to be our first meal here together, as a whole group. You know, _all _of us?" Ahri's voice was laced with disappointment, and maybe a hint of resentment or, perhaps betrayal, Akali couldn't tell.

"I know, and I'm really sorry Gumiho. I'll be here for a little while, but I need to leave by 7. You know I wouldn't go if I didn't need to," the fuchsia-haired diva tried to reason. "I'll try to come home early."

Akali could see Ahri's shoulders sink. She had never met someone who's mood fluctuated the way the fox-woman's did. She looked utterly defeated.

"It's really okay, I mean, I don't mind that not everyone is here," Akali admitted in hopes to revive the singer's spirits. "I'm sure it will be a great time!"

"Yeah, of course," Ahri mumbled, clearly not able to hide her true feelings. "Well, let's just keep up the tour, we've still got a lot to cover before dinner."

The rapper followed her guide through a hallway near the back of the room, which was tucked off to the left of a massive stairway leading to the second floor. Once through the doorway and out of the view of Evelynn, Ahri managed to take a deep breath and seemingly regain some of her motivation to continue the tour.

"I'm really sorry about that," Ahri said as she stopped and turned around to face Akali. "She's not normally like this."

From the way the interaction between the other two members occurred just a few minutes prior, Akali figured that this probably happened more often than Ahri was willing to admit, but she wasn't going to say anything.

"It's just, ugh… I just don't understand why she can't just be reasonable and stay in for tonight. This isn't fair to you." Ahri pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, not able to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Really, I'm sure she wouldn't go if her plans weren't important, so it's no biggie," the rapper tried again to reassure her bandmate. "There will be plenty of chances for us to have dinner together, all of us."

The fox-woman scoffed. "I'm _positive_ her plans aren't more important than this, which is _precisely_ why I'm upset. But I guess as long as you're not bothered, the night isn't ruined." She flashed a fake smile, clearly trying to avoid adding her turbulent emotions to the events already weighing down the evening. "Next up, the rec room!"

Akali probably would have called this a lounge or even a clubhouse if she didn't know this was _in her house. _She figured some people would put partying into the 'recreation' category, but this place was big enough to comfortably fit a hundred or so guests. There was a dance floor, a DJ booth, a bar. For the second time today, she was left wondering who in the world would need something like this _in_ their _house_.

"We normally just go out when we're looking to be social, but just in case, we have a plan B," Ahri mentioned, breaking Akali away from her thoughts. "Oh, and I suppose sometimes Bokkie comes here to practice her dancing. I think the lighting here reminds her of being on stage."

The burgundy-haired woman was starting to feel worn out from all this… well, everything. Sure, she wanted to see everything this house had to offer, but she felt as though she wouldn't have enough energy left to gawk at all these luxuries to the extent that they deserved. Thankfully, Ahri seemed to feel the same way, or perhaps she just didn't want the dinner Kai'Sa had cooked to get cold, because the rest of the tour was a bit more accelerated.

The rest of this hallway contained a gym, the indoor entrance to the combination indoor/outdoor pool, which Akali still refuses to believe is a thing until she actually sees it with her own eyes, convenient showers to use after working out or swimming, and the recording room, all of which she planned to fully explore later. The two women made their way back to the living room and up the stairway that Akali had remembered seeing earlier. At the top was a somewhat short but wide hallway, and four doors leading to what the rapper could only assume were the bedrooms.

"This one is mine," Ahri said as she waved her hand to the first doorway on the left. The door was partially open, and Akali took the invitation to peek into the lead singer's bedroom. Upon a quick first glance, all she really noticed was the extravagant 4-posted bed on the far side of the room, with a fluffy white comforter and a mound of furry pink heart-shaped pillows. There was a couch and chair in a matching pink, along with a white coffee table on the opposite side of the room, all sitting upon the fuzziest white rug Akali had ever seen. Various photos and memorabilia from the pop career that gave Ahri her start, as well as K/DA pieces adorned the walls. All in all, it was _exactly_ what she had expected the blonde's room to look like.

"This one next to mine is Bokkie's, but it looks like her door is closed and I wouldn't want to invade her privacy," Ahri said. "The one across from mine is Eve's and seeing as how she's never here to sleep in it, I don't mind invading her privacy a bit," she scoffed as she swung open the door.

Evelynn's room was, while certainly up to par with the eccentricity of the diva, surprisingly bare. Maybe bare wasn't the right word? The style of bed matched that of the one in Ahri's room, but the bedding was made from a deep purple sleek silk, and there were a much more manageable number of regular shaped pillows at the head. Akali figured that each room likely had a bed provided. There was a dark wood vanity off to the right side of the room, with a mirror large enough for three people to use at once. The diva also had a lounge area set up sort of similar to that of the fox's, except the couch and chair were all upholstered in a matte black leather, and the table's wood matched that of the vanity. The main difference between Evelynn's room and Ahri's, aside from the color, was the striking lack of personal effects. While the leader's room was filled with photos and awards and gifts from her fans, the walls in the diva's room were empty. So were the tables and vanity top for that matter. Akali couldn't pick out a single personal item in her room at all. Bare, definitely not, but it felt like a guest room, not a room with an owner.

"Your room is this one," Ahri called from the hallway, interrupting her thoughts. Akali shut the diva's door behind her and she contemplated asking her guide about the lack of décor Evelynn kept. Before she had the chance, Kai'Sa sung out that dinner was done from the bottom of the stairway.

"Really quick, here's your room," the said as she entered the vacant room.

The bed that Akali was expecting to see sat against the right wall, and that was it. It didn't even have bedding. Other than that, the room was empty. There was a door on the left wall, which when she thought back, was present in all the other rooms she'd visited as well. She poked her head inside to find a bathroom with an attached walk-in closet. She couldn't imagine a reason why she would ever need to own enough clothes to fill even a fourth of its space, but she wasn't going to complain.

"So, when can I bring in some bedding and… well, things?" she directed at Ahri, who was leaning against the wall, scrolling through a social media page on her phone. The fox-woman looked up at her with a look of amused disbelief.

"Oh, you don't have to bring anything," Ahri laughed. "I already planned a shopping trip for tomorrow so you'll be able to pick out anything you'll need to make you feel right at home! I mean, of course you're welcome to bring anything else you might want from home…"

"I brought a few things, like photos and clothes, but not much else. I didn't really know what else to bring."

"That's fine, we'll take good care of you!" Ahri purred. "Alright, lets get downstairs before Bokkie comes up here and drags us to dinner herself."

* * *

"Oh. My. Gosh. Bokkie. This whole place smells like heaven," Ahri said dreamily as she wafted the steam coming from the pan of stir-fried noodles towards her nose.

"Only the best for the newest member of our squad," Kai'Sa cheerily called out as she was waist-deep in a cupboard, digging for, according to Ahri, the 'special glassware.'

"Where's Eve?" the singer asked Kai'Sa as she took her place at the table.

"Don't know, haven't seen her. I figured she'd be down by now."

As if right on cue, Ahri's phone vibrated against the table.

**New Message – Eve**

'I'm sorry I left before dinner. I'll make it up to you'

The fox locked her phone, dropped it on the table, and her expression instantly resembled the one she wore earlier, when Eve told her she was going out tonight. Akali watched the woman press her fingers into the sides of her temples, as if the headache that was their diva was driving her to madness, and this was her last chance to force the pain to stop.

"Why… why must she do this. Why can't she see how this affects us?" Ahri seemed to be directing her comments at no one in particular. "I can't believe she would just blow off dinner like this, after we've had this planned for, I don't even know, like a week."

Kai'Sa stepped up behind the chair Ahri was sitting in and started massaging her shoulders. "You know how she is. I know, in moments like these, it doesn't feel like she cares about us, but she does. You know as well as I do, she goes out like this because she needs to. We should be supportive of her, even if it doesn't always seem like she deserves it, ya know?"

Ahri pulled her face up off the table and turned to Kai'Sa. "Yeah, I know. And I know I shouldn't be mad and stuff, and I'm sure I'll feel better about it in the morning like always, it just _hurts_."

Kai'Sa hugged her friend and then retreated back over to the kitchen island where the food was waiting. She made a couple of plates for her bandmates, and one for herself, and sat down at the table to eat.

While this night had certainly been an experience, Akali wanted nothing more than to eat and mentally decompress. The group's arguing, while not overly stressful, had been difficult to navigate since she was new and didn't feel as though it was her place to mediate band quarrels quite yet. She didn't even know the situation, and she felt like it would be far too forward of her to ask. This seemed like something the others had been dealing with for a while, surely, they'll get through it.

The three present K/DA members finished their meal, as well as indulged in the cake that Kai'Sa had been wearing when she greeted them earlier in the day.

"Girlie, you look exhausted," Kai'Sa said after she noticed Akali drifting off on the couch after dinner. "Let me fix your bed, I'll be back."

The rapper was sprawled out on the couch in a fairly ungraceful manner, and honestly, she couldn't care less. Tomorrow was probably going to be just as busy as today, if not more so, and she wanted to be ready. Sleep had claimed her before she could even make it to her room.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2 – An adventure to remember

Morning came sooner than Akali felt like it should. As much as she wanted to curl up and go back to sleep, the sunlight that streamed through her window found no resistance as she had yet to shop for some much-needed light blocking curtains. The rapper also found that she was no longer asleep on the couch. Either she walked up here herself, which she really couldn't remember doing, or someone carried her to bed. She chose to not question it and made her way out of bed, as there was so much already planned for her to do today.

Someone had placed her personal items, the few suitcases worth that she had brought along, right inside her room's doorway. _Unpacking can wait_, the rapper thought. Besides, she didn't even have anywhere to put anything yet. She did, however, allow herself a quick shower. What she hadn't noticed the first time she looked in her private bathroom was the size. Not only was there an excessive vanity with two sinks, but there was a large glass shower _and _a jacuzzi bath. Akali couldn't wait to give the jacuzzi a try, but time was not currently on her side.

Within 20 minutes the rapper was showered and dressed, ready to face the day head on. The second she got to the edge of the stairway she could already smell the breakfast that was being prepared downstairs. In the kitchen, Kai'Sa was dishing the last of the food onto some serving platters, while Evelynn sat at the dining table, her cheek resting on her palm, looking like she was trying her hardest to not fall asleep right there.

"Good morning Rogue," the dancer said through a smile, the size of which Akali thought no living being should be able to express this early in the morning. "Breakfast is just about ready, and Ahri should be back down soon. I guess there was something she wanted to squeeze into today's festivities. Help yourselves."

Akali grabbed a plate and scooped on some eggs, toast, and sausage. She glanced towards Evelynn who was halfheartedly nibbling on a piece of bacon, still trying to retain consciousness.

"Eve, maybe you should go lay down. Bring some breakfast with you, but I'm sure your bed would be a much more efficient place to sleep," the dancer suggested, a hint of pity flashing in her eyes.

Evelynn simply nodded, got up, and went upstairs, bringing only the strip of pork with her. The dancer sighed after the diva was gone. Akali didn't sense any irritation coming from the gesture, she just seemed a bit worn out by Evelynn's lifestyle.

"To be honest I'm really not surprised that it will just be us three going out today, and I'm not going to let it get to me," said Ahri as she joined the others in the kitchen. "We'll have more fun not having to convince Eve to _also_ have fun."

"What's on the agenda today," Kai'Sa asked.

"Well, first we'll go into town and do some furniture shopping, Akali's room could _really_ use a bit of love. She can pick out some paint for the walls, bedding, and whatever else she needs too, and we'll have all of that stuff moved in and finished up before we get back. We can grab some lunch after, then go clothes shopping, and finally finish off the afternoon with a spa trip I just called in appointments for. Maybe Eve will want to join us for that at least, seeing as how I booked four timeslots," Ahri sighed after listing off their itinerary.

"I'm sure she will," the dancer assured her friend. "We both know how much Eve loves being pampered."

Ahri smiled and nodded as she rose from her place at the table, signaling that it was time for the three of them to head out. Akali watched as the singer hastily wrote a note which she left of the table, and headed towards the door.

Outside in the driveway was a luxurious black car with heavily tinted windows waiting for them. Akali noticed that this was a different vehicle than the one she was brought here in yesterday. _How many cars does K/DA even need?_ The driver was standing by the rear passenger side door, ready to open it for the group as they arrived. _This one is even nicer than the last one too. _Instead of a normal row of seats, there was a semicircle lounge in the back, complete with a sunroof and minifridge. The rapper didn't really expect these accommodations just to go out shopping for some furniture, but who was she to argue.

The car ride was quiet, and Akali spent most of the trip skimming through online catalogs in hopes that she would not seem horribly indecisive when picking out room décor. Ahri used her time to schedule a few fan meet-and-greets, as well as a VIP luncheon that the group would have to attend in a few weeks. Apparently, these things are great for K/DA's publicity, or so the fox-woman tells her. Kai'Sa was able to catch up on the blogs she follows, as well as type a small update for her own page. Akali was still struggling to grasp why _all_ of these events and social media pages and selfies were necessary, but the others just kept reminding her that they were. To be honest, she still felt way out of her element, so she didn't doubt the truth in their reasoning.

When the car finally stopped, they were parked in front of a store with a gaudy teal and white sign that read _Liandry's Home Furnishings_. Just by the outside of the building, Akali could definitely tell this place was somewhere where Ahri would shop. The multistory brick building had glass windows covering nearly the entirety of the storefront, and she could already see elaborately designed furnishings trimmed with gold, crystalline lamps, and other pieces that would only be found in the homes of the wealthy. Akali felt rather out of place here. She hoped that she could quickly pick a few things and move on.

The three women made their way through the sliding glass doors in the front of the store, and instantly Akali felt overwhelmed. Thankfully Ahri looked as though she knew _exactly _what she was doing, and led them in a direction towards the back of the store.

"Alright, what's your favorite color, Rogue? We need to find you some stuff that you'll absolutely love," Kai'Sa asked excitedly.

"Uh, blue, I guess? Or gray?" Akali wasn't really sure, she never had furniture pieces that were meant to match one another, just stuff she had picked up for cheap from second-hand shops. She didn't realize she was supposed to have a theme or anything.

"Well, that's not particularly exciting, but let's see what we can find," called Ahri over her shoulder, still walking in a direction that the rapper was unsure of.

They reached their destination a few minutes later, a section of the store dedicated to more modern styled pieces. Ahri was good, this was precisely what Akali was looking for. Most of the items in this section were slate blues, blacks, and grays, with accents usually in silver stainless steel. Not too bold, but they certainly still made a statement.

Akali eventually made all of her decisions. She went with a black coffee table with a glass top, a black dresser and computer desk in a similar style as the table, a black leather desk chair, black light blocking curtains that she wished she had this morning, a dark slate blue suede couch and loveseat set, and sleek satin bedding that matched the color of the couches. She also chose a wall color similar to that of the bedding and couches, except a few shades lighter. Ahri insisted she get some picture frames, shelves, a full body mirror, some towels to match, a couple floor lamps, desk lamps, and a bunch of other things that Akali would probably never use. She let the fox-woman add what she felt was necessary to her order, since Ahri probably knew the rapper's home furnishing needs better than she did herself.

Surprisingly, ordering what felt like the whole store didn't take all that long. The cashier said they would get the order delivered and set up right away, and that everything should be finished no later than 4 pm.

"Mission to make Rogue's room not look like an abandoned hole in the wall: Complete!" Kai'sa cheered optimistically as they exited the store. "Where to now Gumiho?"

"Well, that actually took a lot less time than I thought it was going to. Originally, I had planned to do lunch, then more shopping, but if no one is hungry yet we can shop first."

While food sounded amazing, Akali could wait. The idea of shopping on a full stomach didn't sound particularly appealing, and she was much keener on getting all of the shopping out of the way early.

"Let's shop first," Akali suggested. Kai'Sa nodded in agreement.

* * *

Shopping with Ahri was a whirlwind experience, that much was for sure. Akali lost count of how many shops they had visited after the eighth, and she was pretty certain that nothing else was going to fit inside the car they'd come in. The fox had insisted that she get some dresses and cute outfits for the club, something like four pairs of fuzzy pajama pants with matching tops, some workout clothes, some casual clothes, some lingerie for, as Ahri so elegantly put it, "when she brings home all the boys who are sure to fall for her," and enough shoes that she could wear a new pair for the next two weeks. Akali knew there were things she was forgetting, but the whole day was kind of a blur.

"Heyyy, Akali," Ahri said loudly enough to snap the rapper out of her dazed state. "You getting in or not? We're starving!"

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even realize the others were waiting on her to get in the car.

"Yeah, sorry, I just… this has been a lot to take in," she apologized as she hopped in and shut the door behind her.

"We'll get some food in you and grab a nice massage, you'll be good as new," Ahri purred as she sprawled out across the seat, using the lap of Kai'Sa as her personal pillow. Akali watched as the dancer faked a look of annoyance towards the fox-woman, shuffled around for her phone and began checking her messages. "Looks like Eve is finally awake. She just messaged saying she'll meet up with us after lunch for the spa."

"Awesome. _Finally, _some actual bonding time for all four of us." Ahri sighed.

* * *

Lunch was fantastic, but Akali was ready to really relax. The spa they were going to was right across the street from the ramen shop they stopped at to eat.

"Eve's here, lets go meet her," Kai'Sa said as she peeked out the window. The dancer got up to pay for their meal, and Ahri told Akali to come with her. Akali was just about to ask how she knew Evelynn was here just by looking outside, but the deep fuchsia colored Bugatti sitting across the street answered her question.

"How many cars do you guys even have?" Akali finally decided to ask, her curiosity getting the best of her.

The blonde couldn't help but laugh. "Well, the group has three, but Eve has five of her own, so I suppose there are eight in total."

Akali's jaw dropped. "Who actually needs that many cars?"

"Eve, apparently."

Ahri tapped on Evelynn's window and the diva responded with a short wave. Akali didn't really think about it until she was standing side-by-side with the golden-eyed woman, but Evelynn was not all that much taller than her. _I guess four-inch stilettos actually do make that much of a difference, _Akali thought to herself. She also couldn't recall a time where the diva was wearing an outfit that one would consider _ordinary, _but now she was wearing simple black shorts, a purple tank-top, and some gold slip on shoes. Even her makeup was tame compared to the other times she'd been around Evelynn.

"Darling, you're staring," Evelynn commented, a slight grin on her face.

"Oh, uh, sorry," Akali blushed, clearly caught off guard. "I guess I wasn't expecting you to look this, well… normal." Her gaze dropped to the ground and she hoped that she hadn't offended the diva.

She let out a small chuckle. "I have been told I'm full of surprises."

It had been about a month since she and Evelynn had recorded together in the subway for their Pop/Stars music video. Even then though, Akali couldn't recall herself feeling nearly this intimidated. Maybe she assumed that without all the fancy clothes and shoes, she would lose some of that feistiness. Oh, how wrong she was.

"Hey Eve. Glad you could make it!" Kai'Sa half-shouted as she hurried across the street. Akali could not have asked for a more well-timed interruption. She didn't know why Evelynn was trying to fluster her like this, but she wouldn't allow it. After a few stealthy deep breaths, her composure had recovered, and she was following the other three inside.

The woman at the front desk welcomed the K/DA members before they had even come fully to the reception desk. It was obvious that she knew that they had money to spend. None of Akali's bandmates seemed to be bothered by this extra attention, but she felt a bit uncomfortable. A pang of guilt struck her because of all the extra attention they were about to receive, only because there's a chance the members would leave the spa a massive tip. It just felt manipulative, but perhaps she was just going to have to get used to living in the spotlight.

The woman ushered the group down a long, steam-filled hallway, where eventually they were split into two groups. Ahri and Evelynn had been taken into a room on the left, and Kai'Sa and Akali on the right.

The masseuse who led her and the dancer into this room instructed the two to undress and lie face down on the padded beds, and that she would be back in a few minutes.

Once she had left the room, Akali turned to her bandmate, a look of confusion on her face. "Like, all the way naked."

"Yeah, silly. Have you never had a full body massage before?" the dancer chuckled. Akali shook her head. "Don't worry, nothing weird happens, promise!"

Kai'Sa seemed to have no issue stripping down in front of her, or if she did, she was quite skilled at hiding it. Now Akali felt awkward because she _wasn't _naked. She reassured herself and decided that of the three people she could have been stuck in a room with, Kai'Sa was probably her first choice. _Here goes nothing, I guess._

Akali had finished undressing and slipped timidly onto the table, only then to get hit with a comment from the dancer that she really wished never came.

"You know," came a cheeky voice, slightly muffled by the bed's headrest. "With a body like that you're going to make a lucky someone _very_ happy one day." Akali kept her face down as a bright pink glow spread across her cheeks.

"You do know the whole point of visiting a spa is to relax, not to end up leaving more stressed out than you were when you came in, right?" the dancer teased.

The rapper didn't even have a chance to defend herself before the masseuse who brought them here, along with another employee whom she assumed to be a second masseuse, entered their room. _Kai is right,_ Akali thought to herself. _I should at least try to enjoy this._

One of the masseuses stepped up to the side of Akali's bed, coated her hands in hot oil and started with her shoulders. Her hands focused on her upper body for… some amount of time? She couldn't really keep a grip on the flow of time due to her relaxed state. That was, until the woman started to work her hands lower and lower. Akali wasn't going to lie, she was still enjoying the whole thing, but she had never experienced someone else's hands touching certain parts of her body before this. She wouldn't say she was aroused, but under different circumstances, she certainly could be.

The burgundy-haired woman was so hypnotized by the experience that didn't even notice when the massage had ended. Only when Kai'Sa jabbed a finger into her fleshy side did Akali realize it was time to get up. She moved to her clothes and started to dress herself.

"There's no point in putting your clothes back on if you're just going to have to take them back off again, we still have our bath," the purple-haired woman said as she wrapped herself in a towel she grabbed from the warmer. She grabbed a second towel and threw it at Akali.

The rapper sighed. She doubted a simple bath would be any more relaxing than the massage she just had, and she would much rather just head home and sleep for the next week. After wrapping the towel around herself, all the clothes that she had lying in an unorganized pile were gathered and brought with her into the next room.

The strong scent of lavender and chamomile that wafted out with the heat of the bath smelled wonderful. _Okay, maybe this would be better than she originally thought_. The two women placed their clothes and towels on the racks off to the side of the room, and stepped down into the cozy stone bath. The heat of the water stung for just a second, but once her skin had adjusted, she felt the last remaining bits of energy left in her body seep out into the bath.

"How'd she do?" Ahri called to Kai'Sa from the entrance on the other side of the room.

_Great_, Akali thought_, just two more people I now live with getting to see me naked_.

"It took a little while for her to relax, but we got there."

Akali opened her eyes just in time to see Ahri and Evelynn place their towels on the rack. She had never felt more inadequate in her life. Ahri had an hourglass figure that any woman would die for, and Evelynn had, well, an everything that any man or woman would kill for. At least the fox-woman had the courtesy to hurry into the bath. The diva, on the other hand, took her sweet time, stretching out her arms and back, clearly reveling in being watched. Her hips swayed in an enthralling way, her movements exhibiting a gracefulness and poise that Akali didn't even know was possible up until this moment.

"Hm, you're staring again, dear," the diva pointed out, making Akali's face turn a vibrant shade of red.

"Eve, leave the poor girl alone," Ahri scolded, then turned to the rapper. "Don't let her trick you into giving her attention, you'll only inflate her ego more."

"Yeah Eve, don't act like you wouldn't be offended if she wasn't staring," Kai'Sa added.

"Oh, calm down you two, I was just playing," Evelynn retorted as she pulled her hair free from her ponytail and sunk down into the water. "I'm sure she's plenty capable of taking care of herself."

Akali just sat back and watched the conversation unfold. She didn't think she could formulate coherent words right now if she tried. Thankfully her bandmates chose to sit in silence until it was time to finally head home.

The day felt like it was going to drag on forever. As much as she enjoyed going out with her new housemates today, Akali was relieved to see her room was finished by the time they got back. More importantly, the bed was made. She didn't hesitate to climb under the silky comforter, and she was out the moment her head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3 –

Today was Friday. It had been nearly a week since Akali had moved in to the K/DA house. Aside from the first few days after the rapper's arrival, she's more-or-less had all the free time she could ask for, with the exception Wednesday when she and the others met with a journalist from some big-name magazine to discuss what new projects the K/DA group were working on. This evening, however, Ahri had made plans for everyone. Akali vaguely remembered the fox-woman saying something about going out regularly when she was being shown around on her first day.

She sighed. Getting out of bed was not something she was prepared for this morning. Despite it being nearly noon, Akali couldn't force herself to get up. She was lying in the middle of her bed, staring at her ceiling. Her unruly hair was out of its usual ponytail, draping every which way off of the pillow under her head.

_How in the world am I going to fit in with the others tonight?_ She never really went out before this, and she definitely didn't have to meet a specific dress code if she did. Not usually the type to be affected by the opinions of her onlookers, the pressure of standing out because she had no idea what she was doing was weighing unusually heavily on her today.

The woman forced herself off of her bed and started towards her closet. She didn't think to actually look through the outfits Ahri had picked out for her when they had gone out shopping. All of the clothes were still in their bags, which had been carelessly shoved in the corner of her walk-in. She grabbed one of the bags, walked back to her bed, and dumped the contents to see what she had to work with.

It did not look promising. The first item she lifted from the pile was a skimpy black dress, one that would be absolutely unforgiving if she even breathed the wrong way. _Definitely not._ The next piece she spotted caused her face to warm up in embarrassment. This must have been one of the items Ahri had picked out because of the "boys." It could hardly be considered clothing at all. The top was a very small sheer dark blue halter top, and the bottoms were practically non-existent. With the amount of coverage this outfit offered, Akali couldn't find much of a point in wearing anything at all. The last item from this bag was a tight gray halter crop-top. This was something Akali would actually wear so long as she was able to find bottoms and a jacket to match.

She spent what felt like the whole afternoon going through the rest of the bags of clothing. While a few of the items that the blonde had chosen for her were absolutely ridiculous, she had to admit that the fox had done a fairly decent job matching her style. Ultimately, she settled on the halter top she had found earlier, a dark blue and gold-trimmed sleeveless jacket, black wet-finish leggings, and a pair of dark blue and gold high-top sneakers.

She decided she'd shower later. After wrestling with her hair for a few minutes, she finally got it tied up enough to head downstairs.

Evelynn was lounging in her usual spot on the sectional when Akali entered the living room.

"Where are the others?" Akali asked the diva.

"Out for lunch."

"Why are you still here? Didn't you want to go with them?"

"I have to start getting ready for tonight and didn't want to risk getting dragged into one of their misadventures."

"But we still have like, eight hours before we have to leave," Akali commented, clearly still confused as to why Evelynn would need all this time to get ready.

Evelynn finally looked up from her phone. "Darling, perfection takes time." The diva lifted herself off the couch and made her way to the stairs. She moved dangerously close to Akali. The golden-eyed woman reached out and traced her long fingers along the rapper's jawline as she passed. Before she retreated, she leaned in and purred in Akali's ear. "And tonight, I plan to be nothing less than perfect."

Akali didn't know for how long she stood there, but she certainly knew that she needed to sit down. Why was Evelynn doing this to her? It bothered her to no end that the woman could fluster her so easily. Ahri and Kai'Sa had assured her that this was just how the diva was. Akali had never met someone who could literally be written in as the dictionary definition of _siren_. Everything about her screamed seduction. But why was she so bothered by it? If it's "just in her nature", why couldn't Akali just shake the feeling and ignore her?

She convinced herself that it didn't really matter right now anyways, the diva had already withdrawn to her room. After regaining her composure, she decided that her best course of action was to hole up in her room until it was time to go. The less of a chance Evelynn has to torment her before tonight, the better.

* * *

She had ended up falling asleep again out of boredom, but luckily woke up early enough to get ready without having to rush. After a quick shower, she pulled on the clothes that were picked out earlier, threw on some light makeup, tied up her hair in its usual style and headed to the door. Before opening it, Akali pressed her ear to the door panel. She was glad to hear Ahri and Kai'Sa chatting between their rooms while getting ready. Being alone with the diva again was not something she had mentally prepared herself for.

When she left her room, Ahri practically bombarded her. Something about the way the fox-woman was deeply assessing her appearance made her feel surprisingly self-conscious. After a few minutes of being poked and prodded, the singer backed up and gave a nod of approval.

"You look great!" Ahri purred.

"Ohh, let me see! I wanna see too!" Came the dancer's voice from the other room. Moments later she came out and upon seeing Akali, the biggest smile spread across her face. "Wow... you really do look amazing!"

She honestly felt kind of plain standing next to the two girls. Ahri had on a short little pink and white sequined dress with some dangerously tall heels, and Kai was wearing black leather pants, a flowy purple top with a wide black belt at her waist, and some slip-on gold flats that looked about ten times more practical than the fox woman's shoes.

"Uh, you guys look _so_ much better than me. You don't think I should add something or..." Akali started before she was cut off.

"Absolutely not. Your outfit is _so_ you," Kai'Sa commented.

Before she could argue, Evelynn's door handle clicked. Akali actually had to stop and consider if she should look or not. There's no way someone could spend the entire day getting ready and not look good.

Good was definitely not the right word, she thought. Stunning, maybe? She may have legitimately been frozen if she didn't prepare herself first. The rapper allowed herself a quick glance before turning away, not willing to risk being called out for staring _yet again_. Evelynn was wearing gold thigh-high stiletto boots on top of black fishnet stockings, a dark purple miniskirt with laced slits going all the way up the sides, a dark purple strapped bralette covered by a sheer black crop-top which left nothing to the imagination, and gold gloves that went all the way up around her upper arms. She had on a few gold necklaces and a pair of earrings that matched the color of her eyes, and her hair was clipped back in a loose half ponytail, leaving just enough of her bangs to frame her perfectly made-up face. Akali decided it would probably be best to just not look at her the whole evening.

"Looks like we're all ready, I'll call the driver," Ahri said as she headed down the stairs. How she wasn't snapping her ankles with each step, Akali didn't know.

The same driver that took them shopping earlier in the week pulled around the front of the house with an even more luxurious car than the last time. The rapper wasn't surprised that they would take their flashiest vehicle to go out clubbing in.

After they got in, the driver shut the door and walked around to his seat.

"Wait, where's Evelynn?" Akali asked as she noticed the diva was missing. As if to answer her question, she heard the purring engine of another vehicle zip past them as the purple Lamborghini sped down the driveway.

"She usually drives herself," Ahri sighed. The fox-woman shifted in her seat as if to hide how much she was bothered by that, though she wasn't being particularly convincing.

"I thought we were supposed to be going out as a group, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?" the rapper questioned.

"Well, it's not like we won't be together at the club, at least for a little while." Ahri looked away. Akali could tell the conversation was making the lead singer uncomfortable, so she didn't push any harder. There was clearly something Ahri was hiding, but she felt it wasn't her place to ask.

* * *

The outside of the club was nothing more than an old brick building. Akali found that the only thing giving away the fact that it was a club rather than some abandoned warehouse was the bouncer standing by a door under a glowing neon orange sign that read "The Hexdrinker," and the rather impressive line of people waiting to get in. Their driver pulled past the main entrance to a door in the back alley, while Ahri pulled out her phone and sent a quick message. Akali assumed this was probably the easiest way to avoid being bombarded by fans on their way in.

The rapper peeked out the window and noticed Evelynn's car parked a bit farther down the alleyway. As the rest of the group exited the car, the diva got out and walked over to meet them.

"Hey Marques, having fun?" the fox-woman purred at the man who just opened the door.

Marques smiled. "Ahri, ladies," he greeted them as he nodded his head and waved his arm towards the open door.

"Thanks, love! My favorite as always," the leader cooed as she took his invitation to enter the club.

Akali followed the others. The atmosphere was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Bass-heavy house music shook the walls. The whole room was coated in a seemingly never-ending fog which, when the lights hit it, felt ethereal. Along the right wall was a long, glass bar, filled more types of alcohol than the rapper even knew existed. The far wall was where the main entrance was, and right next to where they had come in from was a massive DJ booth. Square lights pulsed beneath the fog covering the center of the room, the only indicator that a dancefloor was hidden below. There were plush booths that lined the walls of the club, and stairs that led to a balcony above the DJ to three, semi-secluded VIP booths.

"That far left one is for us," Kai'Sa pointed out when Akali's eyes passed over the reserved section. The other two booths weren't occupied, so they would have the whole balcony to themselves.

Marques followed up the stairs and offered to bring the women their first round of drinks.

"I'll have my usual," Ahri said as she took her seat on the C-shaped couch. "Same," responded Evelynn, but rather than sitting, she went to gaze out over the balcony. Kai'Sa squeezed in next to Ahri and asked for something called a Guinsoo's, while patting the seat next to her, inviting Akali to sit by her

"And what about you, new-girl?" Marques asked the rapper once she got settled.

"Uh, I'm not exactly sure," Akali said nervously.

"Just get her what I'm having, I'm sure she'll love it," Ahri answered for her.

Marques scribbled a few notes on a small notepad. "So, two Morello's, one Guinsoo's, and a Lich Bane," he confirmed. "Got it, I'll be back ladies."

Once alone, Kai'Sa spent no time getting out her phone to take some pictures for her blog. Her and Ahri took a few selfies before dragging the rapper into the fray. Akali couldn't help but notice that Evelynn was still just staring out over the balcony. _There's no way she doesn't like being in photos,_ she thought. It almost seemed like the diva was looking for something and wasn't even aware of what was going on behind her. Her other two bandmates weren't even attempting to pull her into their shenanigans.

"Here we go ladies," Marques called out as he approached their table with a tray full of drinks. The drink he placed in front of Kai'Sa was a frozen orange and red drink that smelled very strongly of cinnamon. He handed Evelynn what looked like a tall shot glass full of an angry looking red liquid, then turned to Ahri and Akali with two swirling blue and purple beverages in martini glasses rimmed with a glowing blue sugar.

Akali took a small sip not knowing what to expect. Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. She was grateful that Ahri was the one who had ordered for her, since the fox-woman seemed like the sort who would prefer drinks for their flavor rather than potency. The two sitting next to each other were busy taking photos of their drinks, but Evelynn had finished hers almost as soon as she got it.

"I'm going to get another drink," Evelynn said looking over her shoulder before heading down the stairs. Akali nodded, but the others were so caught up in their photography that they didn't seem to notice.

She got up and walked over to the balcony railing to get a better view of the place. The music got much louder as she neared the edge. _They must soundproof these booths really well_. The fog was still lingering just as it was before, but it never seemed to go much higher than the knees of the attendees. A few of the bartenders would occasionally make a small show out of pouring the drinks, likely in an attempt to earn a bit extra in tips.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Evelynn walked right past the bar to a booth where a man was sitting. Maybe a friend of hers? The diva spoke with him for a moment before he got up and headed over to the bar. He let her slide into the side of the booth he was sitting in, and after collecting two drinks, sat back down beside her. As much as Akali wanted to give Evelynn her privacy, her curiosity dug deep and she continued to watch. The diva drank down the liquid as quickly as she could and leaned into the man's side. This display of affection went on for a few minutes, until the stranger finished his drink. They both got up, Evelynn took him by the hand and started to lead him towards the back exit.

Akali could have sworn she saw regret in the woman's eyes. The normally vivacious, confident diva wasn't smiling, or even smirking. She looked as if she was on autopilot. The singer looked up towards the balcony, just before they made it to the exit. Blue eyes locked with golden ones, if only for a split second, and the sadness within them only became stronger. Then, they were gone.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur for the rapper. She wasn't quite sure if her thoughts were keeping her unfocused or if she just had too much to drink. After the other two had danced a little bit, they were ready to head back to the house.

As soon as the three of them got into the car out back, Ahri grabbed Akali's hands and smiled.

"Soooo, what'd you think? Pretty fun, right?" the fox-woman asked as she leaned her head against the seat. She looked like she was ready for a good night's sleep.

"Yeah, it was awesome, but can I, um, ask something?" the rapper replied, hesitance filling her not quite sober voice.

"Of course!"

"Does Evelynn normally just leave like that?"

Ahri and Kai'Sa looked at each other, as if they were expecting that topic to be brought up sooner or later.

"Well… yes," the blonde answered. "In case you hadn't noticed, she sort of craves attention. Trust me, though, this is for the best. She gets pretty hard to be around if she hasn't had someone massaging her ego in a while."

"Really, Rogue, she knows what she's doing and she doesn't mean bad by it, that's just how she is," Kai'sa added.

"Oh," was all Akali managed to say.

What the others were saying made sense, but if the diva was going off to do something she took pleasure in, then why did she seem so unhappy?

The remainder of the ride home was uneasily silent. Akali couldn't help but worry about Evelynn, and the others seemed content to not think about the topic at all. They looked like they just wanted to sleep, but then again, so did she.

Once they were home, everyone went straight up to their rooms. Akali tossed off all her clothes aside from her underwear, and laid out across her bed. As exhausted as she was, sleep struggled to come. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with Evelynn, but even if there was, she doubted that the woman would ever admit it.

The stars outside her window became her focus, her distraction, until she finally drifted off into a restless slumber.

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*****Content Warning** \- Implied non-consensual sex***


	4. Chapter 4

***A/N - I'm quickly discovering that formatting page breaks correctly is an actual pain. Formatting may be a bit different from here on out.***

Ch 4 – Never have I ever

The throbbing Akali felt in her head the next morning was grueling. Her hangover was threatening to keep her in bed for the rest of the day, but her need for hydration won out. After throwing on an old T-shirt, she ventured towards the kitchen. She attempted to open her bedroom door, but light from the hallway pierced through the crack in the door, leaving the rapper with a sharp pain behind her eyes. With a sigh, she left the comfort of her dark bedroom. _Just need to grab some water, then back to bed._

The living room and kitchen were empty, and she guessed that everyone else was still in bed. Akali checked the clock on the microwave. _Only 7 o' clock, no wonder everyone is still asleep._

She filled a glass with water and began to head back upstairs, but her movements were halted when she heard the door that led to the underground garage click. _Oh no, there's no way I can talk to her right now_. Evelynn stepped in silently, quietly closing the door behind her. It wasn't until she turned around that the diva noticed she wasn't alone.

"Oh, h-hey Evelynn," Akali stammered once she knew she had been spotted.

The diva smirked. "Darling, you look half dead. Have too much fun last night?" Her eyes scanned Akali's figure, her grin growing when she noticed the rapper didn't even bother to put on pants. "That's a good look for you, Rogue."

Akali couldn't keep her cheeks from growing bright red.

"Uhhh, thanks. I have to go, I think..." the rapper choked out before practically sprinting for the stairs. She heard Evelynn let out a small laugh from the kitchen.

The door to her room could not be closed fast enough. She needed nothing else in that moment other than to put a barrier between herself and the diva. Her headache slowly began to return as she calmed down, and she hurried over to grab a few painkillers from her bathroom's medicine cabinet.

_At least she seemed to be back to her normal self_, Akali thought. Even though that meant she was going to be under attack from Evelynn's relentless toying again, at least she didn't see that pain in her eyes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Akali was able to sleep much more soundly with some water in her and a clearer conscious. When she opened her eyes again and checked her phone, it was already 1:30 in the afternoon. As if to remind her how long she had been asleep, her stomach growled loudly.

She didn't realize when she had woken up earlier how much she smelled like sweat and alcohol, but now that she was more fully awake, she felt like a mess. The makeup she had left on her face was smudged down her cheek and her hair looked like a bird's nest.

The rapper turned on the shower and stripped off the little clothing she was wearing. Once the water was hot, she stepped in, letting the droplets seep through her hair. The previous night was so draining, Akali decided to just sit on the tile shower floor beneath the showerhead and let the water flow over her for a while.

_What am I supposed to do_, she asked herself? If she brought up last night to Evelynn, what would she even say? What exactly did she want her to say? _It's her life, she should be able to go home with whomever she wants and not have people call her out on it_. But something just didn't feel right. _She seemed fine this morning, but that doesn't just negate the look in her eyes at the club._ Akali sighed. She doubted that Evelynn would even want her help, or anyone's help for that matter. She was too proud.

Before she knew it, her shower began to cool off and she was left to wash her hair and body with a less than adequate amount of hot water. She rushed through the remainder of her routine, anxious to have lunch.

She threw on a blue tank top and a pair of black shorts. Finding food was a higher priority than blow drying her hair, so she just left it draped over her shoulders to dry naturally.

Thankfully, as she opened her door, she smelled pizza coming from downstairs. Both Kai'Sa and Ahri had their bedroom doors open now, and were likely in the kitchen eating lunch. Akali hurried down the stairs to meet up with them.

"Good morning sleepy head," Kai'Sa directed at the rapper as she entered the kitchen. "Hope you didn't wake up with too much of a hangover."

"Oh, don't worry, I did," Akali chuckled sarcastically as she grabbed herself a plate, filled it with a few slices of sausage pizza, and sat down with the others.

Ahri laughed. "I'm honestly not surprised. You had quite a bit to drink last night, and were pretty out of it by the time we left."

The rapper wasn't sure if Ahri was able to take her confused emotional state into account, but if the blonde was willing to blame it entirely on the alcohol, who was she to argue.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I don't really drink often," Akali commented as she ravenously ate her lunch.

"You figure out your limits after a while. Hey, I don't suppose you know if Evelynn is home yet, do you?" the dancer asked.

"I saw her this morning, so I would imagine she's still here."

"That's good! I was hoping we could all do something later, you know, more bonding time!" Kai'Sa mentioned hopefully. "Especially since the next week or so we'll all be pretty busy with interviews and fan meet-ups that we won't really have much time to relax."

"That sounds lovely Bokkie, maybe a movie or something?" the blonde suggested.

"Sure, that sounds great to me," Akali replied. The thought of spending time with her bandmates while doing something simple and relaxing sounded like a lot of fun. There hadn't really been many moments so far during her time living in the house where they were all together _and_ the rapper was in a normal state of mind.

"I heard there was supposed to be a pretty large storm tonight anyways, it would probably be best to stay in," Ahri mentioned.

Akali decided to lounge on the sectional in the living room, playing rhythm games on her phone until everyone decided to join her. She looked out the window and noticed just how dark the clouds were as the first heavy raindrops started to drill against the large bay window. The sound of rain always helped her to relax, and before she knew it, she was struggling to keep her eyes open. _Better to nap now rather than during the movie, I suppose._

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The rapper didn't know for how long she had dozed off, just that she was jolted awake by a massive clap of thunder. By the look of the clouds outside, the storm had gotten worse, much worse. The trees were whipping around violently, and the wind was enough to make the downpour seem as if it falling from the sky sideways. It was only 4 o clock, but the sky was so dark it felt like nearly midnight.

Evelynn came down from her bedroom, presumably woken up by the weather as well. She had changed out of the clothes she had gone out in last night, and now sported a slightly baggy Pentakill shirt and a pair of fuzzy magenta pajama pants.

Akali did her best to pretend she hadn't noticed her arrival by burying her face back into her game. Evelynn didn't comment, glanced out the bay window to see the storm for herself, then laid down on her usual spot at the other end of the sectional.

"Do you know what movie we're watching?" Evelynn asked, seemingly too tired to harass her at the moment.

"No idea, this was Kai's idea and I'm not entirely sure she had thought the whole thing through yet."

"Hmm, okay." Evelynn wrapped herself up in the throw blanket she usually kept tucked down the side of the couch and pulled it up over her head.

Almost as soon as Akali set her eyes back on the screen of her phone, a massive bolt of lightning struck above the house, the following thunder vibrating the windows. Suddenly, the room around her went dark. A small shriek came from upstairs, Ahri being the most likely point of origin.

"So much for that movie," Evelynn commented as she poked her head out from under her blanket. "And my nap," she added as another large clap of thunder shuttered overhead.

"Bokkie!" the blonde woman yelled from the hallway upstairs as the dancer sprinted down the stairs. "Those are my good bath candles, bring those back!"

"Sorry Foxy, we need to be able to see to play our game!" Kai'Sa yelled back in her direction. "Hey, we're going to play a game," she said excitedly, her attention directed towards the two on the couch as she started to light the candles.

"Are we now?" Evelynn questioned sarcastically as she sat up and readjusted her blanket cocoon.

"Yes, yes we are," the dancer replied matter-of-factly. "It's called _never have I ever,_ and we get to drink and bond and stuff, so don't sound so grumpy." The purple-haired woman slid a drawer out from the coffee table, and grabbed a small clear box full of cards. "Ahri and I picked it up while we were out the other day."

"It did sound like it would be a lot of fun," the blonde mentioned as she made it to the bottom of the stairs and started towards the kitchen. "I'll go get some booze."

"How do we play?" Akali asked, not particularly excited about drinking much more after this morning.

"Well, we pick cards out of here," Kai'Sa said as she gestured to the box. "If you've never done what's written on the card, you're safe and don't have to drink. If you _have_ done it, you have to take a shot of whatever it is Ahri finds in the kitchen. We'll play until we get bored or until Foxy has too much to drink, whichever comes first."

"Our options for this evening are peach flavored Smirnoff or Crown Royal apple." Ahri set the bottles down on the table along with four K/DA branded shot glasses. The fox-woman grabbed the box that Kai'Sa was holding out for her and sat down on the floor by the coffee table, gesturing for everyone else to do the same. Once everyone had migrated to the carpet and filled up their glass, she pulled out the first card.

"Never have I ever punched someone."

"I was raised in a dojo, of course I've punched people," Akali sighed, as she put her glass to her lips and quickly drank its contents. _For whiskey, this isn't terrible,_ she thought.

Evelynn also took a shot, but didn't comment. Ahri retrieved another card.

The fox woman pouted. "Never have I ever flirted to get something I wanted." Ahri took a shot while Evelynn poured another and downed it.

"Come on, pick one I've done or I'm going to drink this anyways," Kai'Sa begged.

"Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex."

"_Finally_," the dancer cried as she emptied her glass. Ahri was the only one to not take a shot.

"Oh really, Rogue, didn't think you were the type," Evelynn teased inquisitively.

"It was only once," Akali clarified as she wiped the excess liquid from her mouth. "I vastly misread the situation, but I had also been drinking. It's one of the main reasons I don't drink very much anymore."

"Never have I ever given someone a fake phone number."

The blonde was the only one to drink. "Oh really, Eve, never?"

"Why would I need to give out a fake number? Either they get my real one or I tell them they aren't getting it."

The fox-woman shrugged. "Fair enough. Okay, next question. Never have I ever flirted with someone while I was in a relationship.

"I told you guys Ahri would be the first one out," Kai'Sa joked before she took another drink.

"Ha-ha, very funny," the blonde retorted as she poured herself another shot.

"Never have I ever said 'I love you' to someone just to get laid." Ahri drank.

"Eve, there's no way you're not lying right now," the lead-singer jabbed.

Evelynn became visibly offended. "And how would you know?"

"Because you've slept with _so_ many people, there's just no way."

"Shows how well you know me, I guess," the diva rebuked.

If Akali hadn't been so sober, she might have missed how tightly Evelynn was grasping her blanket. Her body language still came off as calm and collected, but the rapper could see the fire in her eyes. Ahri was clearly and quickly becoming a drunken mess, and she wasn't doing a very good job of hiding her built-up resentment.

"Never have I ever slept with someone I didn't know the name of." It didn't even look like the blonde was reading off the cards anymore. Her eyes were boring holes into Evelynn. This was no longer a game between friends, but their lead-singer venting all her pent-up frustrations.

Evelynn glared back and took another shot.

"Come on Gumiho, you can do better than that."

"Never have I ever seduced someone because I can't stand the idea of not having everyone's eyes on me every moment of the day."

Evelynn didn't take her eyes off of Ahri and drank again.

"Never have I ever abandoned my closest friends because I'm a filthy attention whore who can't go a day without bedding some stranger!" the drunken fox-woman was yelling now, and she couldn't keep her eyes from tearing up.

Another drink.

"Never have I ever stooped to such low levels because the thought of finding actual love sca-"

The diva drank before the blonde could finish, and then aggressively threw her shot glass against the far wall. The room was silent aside from the sound of the shards of glass raining down against the wood floor of the foyer.

"I'm going to bed. It's been fun," Evelynn hissed as she made her way to the stairs.

Ahri was sobbing violently, evidently starting to feel the weight of what she had just done. Kai'Sa hugged her, trying to console the inebriated emotional wreck that was balled up on the floor. Upstairs, the sound of a door slamming rang through the house. Akali had no idea what had just happened. Not only had she witnessed the long-time friendship of two of her bandmates practically fall apart in an evening, but that there was a broken part of Evelynn that she was _very_ good at hiding.

The two of them that were more-or-less sober helped Ahri upstairs and into her bed. The power had not yet come back on, so hauling someone who could barely walk up the stairs in the dark was not a simple task. Thankfully, after she had crawled into bed, she passed out almost instantly.

"Thanks for helping, Rogue," Kai'Sa said gratefully. "I'm sorry you had to see that. To be honest, I'm sort of surprised that hadn't happened sooner. Ahri had been struggling with bringing the topic up for a while now, I just wish it had happened with a bit less hostility and perhaps a bit more sobriety. Goodnight, hope your evening wasn't too ruined."

Kai'Sa had retreated, leaving Akali alone in the hallway, wondering what she should do. Sleep sounded great, but guilt made her feel like she should check in on Evelynn first. She stood outside of the diva's bedroom door and took a deep breath. The rapper knocked lightly on the door.

"Evelynn," she said sheepishly.

"Before you ask, I'm fine," the diva mumbled from the other side of the door. "Go to bed Rogue, don't worry about me."

Akali's spirits sank. "Well, if you need anything you know where to find me," she offered before heading back to her own room.

Without the whirring of electronics and appliances, the house was dead silent, aside from the storm still raging outside. The rapper climbed into bed and just sat against her headboard with her chin resting on her knees. Every few minutes or so, she could hear the muffled sobs of the diva through their shared wall. Akali wasn't sure why she cared so much. _Friends fight all the time, I'm sure they'll work everything out,_ she thought. Perhaps she was afraid because she knew Evelynn wouldn't ask for help if she needed it.

Dwelling on the issue was giving her a massive headache, so after a few painkillers and a slight bit of meditation to clear her turbulent thoughts, she rested her head on her pillow and tried to sleep.

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*****Content warning** \- Excessive alcohol use, slut-shaming***


	5. Chapter 5

Ch 5 – Admitting your flaws

The tension in the K/DA household over the next few days could be cut with a knife. Ahri couldn't remember much about the argument, only that she had been really mad about something. Evelynn spent the majority of her time where the group wasn't required to be at a press event or performance locked up in her room or out somewhere. Even if the diva was forced to be around the blonde, she acted like nothing had ever happened, but Akali could see the resentment flash in those golden eyes whenever Evelynn happened to look at Ahri.

With all of the publicity events and shows happening, Akali has hardly had time to breathe. If she wasn't already at some function or another, she was probably preparing for one. As stressful as her time at home with her bandmates could be sometimes, she would take the occasional bickering and disagreements over this never-ending pressure to look good and say the right things any day.

The rapper was in her bathroom, tying her hair up, getting ready for yet another interview, when she heard Kai'Sa call out to her from the entrance to her bedroom.

"Rogue, are you almost ready?" the dancer asked. "It's almost time to go."

"Yeah, I'll be out in just a minute," she responded as she threw on her hat and double-checked her appearance. She had chosen a dark blue tank top with a worn black denim vest, black shorts, black knee-high combat boots, and her usual K/DA hat. The more events she had to attend, the less she found herself putting much effort into her clothing choices.

Akali ventured out to meet Kai'Sa in the hallway, but she had likely headed downstairs already. Just as she was closing her bedroom door, Evelynn came out of her bedroom. The diva looked pristine, as expected. Her hair was tied up and her face was decorated with smoky black and silver eyeshadow and fuchsia lipstick. She was wearing a simple, strapless, thigh-length black dress and a sheer cover-up that draped to the floor, with elegant silver heeled shoes. The look was much more toned-down than what the woman would normally wear, but she still looked stunning.

"Rogue," she greeted simply as she headed towards the stairs.

"Hey, uh, you're probably driving yourself there, right?" Akali asked cautiously. "Well, if you wanted, I could ride with you."

Evelynn turned to her. "It's okay, darling, you don't have to do that." She started for the stairs again. Before she stepped down, she stopped and took a deep breath. "Actually, you know what, that's fine. It might be nice to have someone to chat with on the way there. Come."

Kai'Sa was waiting at the kitchen table, idly scrolling through her phone. "Hey Eve, Rogue. Just waiting on Ahri to finish up, then we can go. Eve, you have the address, right?"

"Actually, this one is riding with me, we're going to head out now. And yes, I've got it."

Akali felt slightly guilty about not riding with the rest of her bandmates. Kai'Sa gave her a look that seemed to question whether this was her idea or if the diva was just being petty. The rapper shrugged her shoulders and gave a slight nod, hoping that the dancer would understand that this was her idea.

Evelynn waved her hand towards the door that led towards the garage, inviting Akali to go first. She had never seen this part of the house, so she didn't entirely know what to expect. The entryway attached to the kitchen led to a small, dimly lit room with another door, which turned out to be a lift. The diva pressed a few buttons and the aluminum panel slid open, revealing an elevator with walls that were pretty much made entirely of mirrors. The uncomfortable feeling of seeing endlessly in all directions was not something she was prepared for, but she forced herself to not look as intimidated as she actually was. Thankfully, the ride to the garage took only seconds. When the doors opened, Evelynn stepped out, gesturing for the rapper to follow her.

"I'll let you choose," the diva said as she turned back around to find a stunned Akali.

"Woah…" was all she could manage to say as she looked around the massive garage. While she recalled Ahri saying something about Evelynn owning five cars, she wasn't expecting _all_ of them to be so expensive looking. She recognized the fuchsia Bugatti and purple Lamborghini from before, but there was also a black Lamborghini, dark blue Mercedes-Benz, and a sparkling white Ferrari.

"Were you honestly expecting anything less from me, Rogue?" Evelynn asked with a smirk.

"I didn't really know what to expect, I guess."

"So, which one?"

"Um, how about the blue one?" Akali decided. At least that one had a top and her hair wouldn't be destroyed by the time they got there.

The diva simply nodded, unlocked the car and got in. The rapper was nervous about even touching the door handle out of fear that Evelynn might murder her if she so much as scuffed the paint, but after a deep breath, hopped in the passenger seat.

"So, this looks expensive," was all she could awkwardly manage to say after seeing the interior.

"It was, and before you ask, no, you don't want to know how much it's worth," the magenta-haired woman responded as she started the engine.

The long garage had a ramp that let out around the backside of the house. Attached to the garage partition was a driveway wove that wove through the front gardens, almost scenically, before connecting with the main exit.

The rapper spent some time picking at her fingernails and pulling at a string that was loose at the hem of her vest before finding the courage to question Evelynn about what happened between her and Ahri a few nights prior.

"So, uh," Akali started nervously after they had made it onto the interstate. "Can I ask you something?"

"Let me guess. You're curious about what happened the other night?"

"Well... yeah."

"I figured you would ask eventually, but I thought Ahri did a pretty good job of covering all the bases," the diva laughed. "What more is there to know, darling?"

"I thought you two were close friends?" she questioned Evelynn. "And it wasn't even like Ahri was just looking for a reason to get mad. I could tell that she'd been bothered by... _whatever_ it is you do, for a while now."

"Oh, Rogue, no need to sugarcoat it. Ahri wasn't exactly wrong when she called me, what was it, a _filthy attention whore,_ I believe. Anyways, I've always had this... insatiable desire to be chased after. Something about feeling wanted can be a real confidence booster," the diva said with a sigh.

"But do you value that feeling more than your friends?"

"On paper, no. But, if you asked someone who was addicted to drugs if they valued their crutch more than the people closest to them, they'd likely tell you the same thing," Evelynn explained. "I don't go out and sleep with whoever because I genuinely want to, at least not anymore. It's just this awful habit I can't seem to break."

"Why don't you just find someone who will give you that affection long-term?" Akali inquired. "Wouldn't that be just as good, maybe even better?"

"Easier said than done, dear. You see, I have an incredible talent for talking someone into bed with me, but that's about it. A nice body can only get you so far."

"Surely there's someone out there who would fall in lo-"

"Ah-ah. Don't finish what you're about to say, darling," Evelynn cut her off, her tone serious. "I'm not particularly fond of that word. It's always just been lust, and it will always be lust. Nothing more, nothing less. I've come to terms with that."

"But what about your friends?"

"They're strong, they'll get over it. I just hope they don't take it too personally, I genuinely don't mean to hurt them like this."

"Have you talked to them about it? They probably have no idea what you're going through."

"And that, dear, is much how I prefer it. I have a bit too much self-pride to admit my flaws."

"Then why tell _me_?"

"Because _you_ were the first person who wasn't too afraid to ask. That, and you kept looking at me like you were worried for me, and I couldn't bear the thought of being the reason that you were losing sleep at night, darling," Evelynn teased dramatically.

Akali pretended to huff and pout, but the diva just laughed at her pathetic display, and she couldn't help but smirk.

"Alright," the rapper said, "but if you need anything, _anything_... I'm here."

Evelynn nodded to show her acknowledgement of what was just offered to her. _Maybe things can go back to being a little less stressful_, she thought.

The rest of the 45-minute drive was silent, but peaceful. Evelynn seemed more relaxed now than she had since Akali had moved into the band's house.

Eventually, they pulled up beside a fairly plain looking building. The diva reclined her seat, took off her sunglasses and closed her eyes. "Might as well get comfortable, the others won't be here for a bit."

Akali was still fearful that she was going to break something, so she just sat and looked out the window. "Do you know what the plan is for today? Ahri had mentioned that we were going to be busy."

"There's the interview, which realistically won't take more than an hour, then we have a VIP banquet that we're supposed to head to immediately after this. I'm guessing _that_ will take the rest of the night."

The rapper checked the clock. 2:45pm. She assumed that meant the dinner started at five, which, if it did end up taking the rest of the night, it was going to be a grueling five hours at minimum. "I'm going to die."

"Well, isn't someone being rather dramatic?" Evelynn chuckled.

"Nope. I'm pretty sure I die tonight." Akali hesitated. "So… are you going out again after the banquet?"

"If I told you no, I'd probably be lying. I normally don't commit to those sorts of plans beforehand, but somehow that's usually how it turns out."

The rapper didn't know how to respond to her blunt honesty, so she just waited in silence for the others to arrive.

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The interview was short and overall went smoothly. _No one ever asks anything different,_ Akali thought as she and Evelynn headed back to her car after the diva had offered to drive her to the banquet. The questions were always about the future of K/DA, or how Ahri's cosmetic brand was doing. Only occasionally would someone ask about something personal, and when they did it was something trivial like their favorite hobbies or if they were seeing anyone.

"How long of a drive is it?" the rapper asked as she took her seat inside the car.

"About a half-hour."

Akali nodded and set her sights out the window next to her. She was exhausted and had trouble focusing on anything. Sleep had been hard for her to come by the past few nights since everyone seemed as though they were walking on thin ice. Only a few minutes had passed before her eyes were closed and sleep claimed her.

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"Wake up darling, we're here," Evelynn commented as she waited for someone to open the gate they were currently sitting at.

"I don't want to," the rapper mumbled.

"That's just too bad. If I have to go in there and entertain a bunch of rabid fans all night, so do you."

The gate opened and the diva sped down the mile-long blacktop. Finally, they approached a massive manor with cars that were lined up all around the edge of the roundabout driveway. Many well-dressed fans were entering the main double-doors in the front of the three-story, ivy-covered brick mansion. Evelynn followed a small side road that took them around back.

"We'll wait here for the others," the diva said as she touched up her makeup in the mirror.

"So, um, what are we supposed to do here," Akali asked, having not been to an event such as this yet.

"We sit at a table for everyone to look at, say some appreciative things about them, have dinner, then socialize. According to Ahri, having personal one-on-one moments with the fans who pay ridiculous amounts of money to come to these things is our _top_ priority," the golden-eyed woman explained. "I rather enjoy these kinds of things, but I'm guessing you'll probably be bored within the hour."

The black car that Ahri and Kai'Sa had taken pulled up beside them. Her other two bandmates exited their vehicle, so she and Evelynn got out to meet them.

"Don't look so excited, Rogue," Kai'Sa said playfully as she gave her a shoulder a gentle shove.

"Sorry, I'm just really tired," the rapper said through a yawn.

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to sleep later. Right now, we have adoring fans to impress. Let's go!" the leader called out as she beckoned them towards the back entrance.

A man in a ridiculous looking golden tuxedo was waiting for them when they got inside. He noticed them, and gestured for them to follow. Once they got to a set of double doors, he told the women to wait until they were called and disappeared. On the other side of the wall, Akali could hear countless guests talking amongst themselves.

"Stop being such a nervous wreck," Evelynn leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You're going to be fine, darling."

A speaker in the main room projected the voice of the man who had led them here.

"May I have your attention everyone. Before I bring out our stars for this evening, I'd like to thank everyone for coming out to this lovely gathering." The voices that filled the room before had died out, and only the booming sound coming from the speakers was now audible. "Your dedication and loyalty are the gifts that allow these wonderful ladies the opportunity to be here for you tonight. So, without further delay, please give it up for the one and only K/DA!"

As soon as he was finished with his introduction, Ahri pushed through the doors and led the others into the room. Their fans went wild as the women stepped up onto the stage and took their seats at a long table, which was covered in a silky white cloth. The fox-woman grabbed a microphone and started to give a speech. Akali truly was thankful for the leader's charisma in that moment, because all she was required to do was sit there and pretend to act interested.

As the singer addressed the crowd, the rapper had a moment to take in the intricate details of the space they were in. The floor was an off-white marble, and scattered across the entirety of its surface were round tables covered in tablecloths that matched the one at her own table. Nearly every chair was filled, and all eyes were glued to Ahri as she spoke. An impressive dark wood staircase wound up the left wall of the round, golden colored room, leading to a circular balcony that wrapped around the top of the ballroom. In the middle of the ceiling hung a giant, four-tiered crystal chandelier that looked more decorative than it did practical.

Before she knew it, Kai'Sa was nudging her leg under the table. "You coming?"

She hadn't even noticed until now, but most of the guests had risen from their tables to acquire food, and her other two band mates were heading towards the buffet as well.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I kind of zoned out," Akali apologized as she followed the dancer off the stage to meet up with the others.

"You can sit with me if you'd like," Kai'Sa offered as they finished filling their plates.

"That would be awesome, Kai. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

"Don't worry, you've got this," the purple-haired woman said enthusiastically as she led them towards a table in the corner of the room. "You just worry about getting some food in you."

Ahri and Evelynn, the two most experienced members of the group sat down at different tables near the middle of the room in an attempt to appeal to their admirers. Akali was thankful when no one decided to intrude at their table, and grateful to be able to relax and talk with her friend for a bit.

"Evelynn seems to be in a much better mood now, what in the world did you do?" the dancer asked her sarcastically.

"I'm not entirely sure," she responded, not really wanting to discuss something that the diva likely hoped she would keep secret. "Maybe she just needed to get out of the house?"

"Well, whatever happened somehow kept this evening from being a living nightmare."

"I'm sure it wouldn't have been that bad, right?"

"Did you not see that woman when she was in a bad mood?" Kai'Sa questioned under her breath. "She's _terrifying_."

Akali just chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. Her mind was still kind of foggy from the exhaustion that she kept forgetting about the plate of food in front of her. Kai'Sa had finished her plate before the rapper had been able to take more than a few bites.

"I'm going to go talk to people," the dancer mentioned as she picked up her plate to properly dispose of it. "If you need anything, come find me, okay?"

"Okay."

Without anyone to distract her, her eyes searched out the diva. The magenta-haired woman was sitting at a table full of guests. Evelynn, however, was not focused on the people at her table, but on a brunette woman sitting a few tables away from her. The beautifully dressed stranger had her head lowered, and it almost looked as though she was trying not to cry. The handsome redheaded woman sitting next to her turned to her and took her hands into her own. As they sat together, talking quietly to one another, Akali glanced back over to Evelynn who couldn't tear her eyes from the couple. A few minutes passed, and the vest-clad woman brought her hand up to the other's cheek, wiped her tears and brushed the hair from her face. She placed a soft kiss upon assumedly her girlfriends face, before gently embracing her.

The rapper looked back over just in time to see Evelynn excuse herself from the table and quickly head down a hallway attached to the wall opposite the stairs.

Something didn't quite feel right, and Akali did the only thing she could think to do in that moment. She got up and started towards the corridor after Evelynn.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6 – Not again

Evelynn staggered down the dimly lit hallway. Her hand was pressed firmly against the wall as though it was the only thing keeping her steady. The harder she tried to breathe, the more the oxygen around her evaded her lungs. _I can't do this_, she convinced herself as she finally collapsed in the space behind a stairwell once her legs would no longer carry her, far from where anyone would be able to hear her. Her long, well-manicured fingernails were threatening to draw blood as she tightly grasped her upper arms in a futile attempt at a distraction. Suddenly, the magenta-haired woman started to hear footsteps off in the direction she had come from.

"Evelynn, are you okay?" a voice called softly from somewhere in the distance.

_No, please no, why? Why did you have to follow me, Rogue? _She asked herself as she immediately held her breath, fighting with her emotions as she tried to keep quiet. _I can't let you see me like this._

The footsteps drew closer, but Evelynn was having a difficult time trying to regain her composure.

"Ev, please," the rapper pleaded quietly, "I just want to help."

The diva shifted her position in an effort to obtain better cover, but she as she tried to move farther underneath the stairwell, her arm gave out and she fell back against the wall with a thud. The panic began to resurface and she could no longer keep herself quiet. All of the tears she fought to hold back up to this point came cascading down her burning red cheeks.

The footsteps quickened and within a few moments, Akali stood looking at her, her piercing blue eyes full of worry.

She wanted nothing more than to tell the woman to leave her there, and that she didn't deserve her kindness. No matter how hard she tried to form the words to send the rapper away, the sounds caught in her throat and threatened to suffocate her.

Before she could voice her desires, Akali dropped to her knees beside Evelynn and wrapped her arms around her. The embrace was firm, but not enough to make her feel trapped.

"Ev," the rapper whispered as she ran her fingers through magenta locks of hair. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise."

Evelynn didn't know for how long they sat there, but the longer Akali held her, the more her nerves were beginning to calm.

"I'm so sorry," she mumbled when she felt as though she wasn't going to burst into a mess of emotions again. "I didn't mean to drag you into this."

"Shut up," the woman sitting in front of her said sternly. "You didn't drag me into anything, I'm here because I chose to be."

The diva just nodded. She had no energy left to argue about it.

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not here. Outside?"

"Of course."

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Out in the back yard, there was a decently sized koi pond surrounding a small island. In the center stood a rustic white gazebo. The sun had just begun to set, bathing everything in a semi-orange glow. A light breeze danced through the surrounding foliage, cooling off what began as a hot mid-summer day. The two women crossed the bridge and sat upon the wooden benches.

Akali did not pressure her to say anything. Instead, the blue-eyed woman rested her arms on the railing and gazed out over the water, looking much more relaxed here than she had all day.

"Have you ever wished you were able to live a different life?" Evelynn asked distantly.

The rapper turned away from the water and adjusted herself so that she was laying with her back flat on the bench, her eyes meeting Evelynn's.

"Not exactly. I mean, sure, I've had my rough patches but nothing bad enough that I wouldn't want to be me."

"Occasionally, I see something I want, something I _know_ that I will never have, and I panic. It's hard to explain, but get this overwhelming feel like I'm drowning and I can't control myself."

"Do you want to hear a story?" Akali offered as a distraction.

"Is it going to make me feel better?"

"Probably not, but you may find it slightly relatable."

Evelynn simply smirked and nodded.

"Back when I was a teenager, living in my parent's dojo, I made the mistake of falling hard for a girl a was training with. Like, _way_ hard. She was beautiful, tall, she had silky long black hair, face of a goddess, all that. Something about her energy and outspokenness was electrifying. Anyways, we became pretty close friends over the course of a couple of months. It didn't take long for me to see how strongly I felt about her. You could say I loved her. We spent every possible waking moment together, at least until the fall celebration my family would always hold. We sat by the fire, looking up at the stars until I _majorly_ misread what there was, or in this case, what there wasn't between us. I was stupid enough to try and kiss her. Biggest mistake I've ever made. She slapped me and walked off. I guess she was offended enough that she chose to leave the dojo, and I never saw her again," Akali breathed deeply and sighed. "Even though I was an angsty child and the whole thing seems pretty silly when I look back on it, my heart was still absolutely shattered. Sure, it took time, but I more-or-less got over it."

"You were right darling, that didn't make me feel better," Evelynn joked sarcastically. "But why do you say more-or-less?"

"Because since that night, I've actively avoided confronting my demons. I still harbor this fear that if I were to find another soul that I felt _such _an intense connection to, I would have to stand face-to-face with rejection again. I don't think I'm strong enough for that," the rapper admitted, her gaze shifting to the sky.

Evelynn's heart ached for her bandmate, and she realized how selfish she seemed in comparison. While she's never had anyone that truly loved her, at least she hadn't found love and had it torn away from her.

In the time since they had come outside, the sun had gone down completely. All thanks to Akali, the diva had been able to recover some semblance of her sanity. She checked the time on her phone. _9:30 already?_

"It's getting late, we should probably head back inside," Evelynn commented as she got to her feet and stretched. "How horrible does my makeup look?"

"Surprisingly, it looks the same as it has all night."

"Good. I don't spend ridiculous amounts of money on it for a few tears to be able to mess it all up."

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"Where in the world did you two run off to?" Ahri questioned worriedly, as Evelynn and Akali approached her from the back door. "You both literally just disappeared. We thought you had _died_ or something."

The diva was about to respond when Akali cut her off.

"Sorry, I was feeling really sick and needed to get some fresh air. Ev offered to come with to make sure I was okay," the rapper lied, covering for her mental breakdown.

"Well, fine, but you could have said something or sent a message or _something_. Anyways, it's time to say goodbye to everyone and it'll be better if we're all out there to do it. Bokkie should still be out there waiting for us."

Evelynn breathed a silent sigh of relief, grateful that she didn't have to bring up what had happened tonight to Ahri. _Gumiho would only overreact, and that's the last thing I need right now_, she told herself as she followed the followed the other two women back to the main hall. Though she didn't exactly have the energy or the desire to, she feigned her usual self-confidence and poise. The goodbyes and thank-yous were brief, and Evelynn felt a wave of reprieve. She couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"Meet you two back at the house!" Kai'Sa called out as she skipped out the back door and vanished into the backseat of the band vehicle.

They both got into the car and simply sat there for a few minutes. Akali looked as exhausted as Evelynn felt.

"Let's go home, Rogue" the diva said through a yawn.

"I would like nothing more than that, Ev."

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The next week had been pretty open as far as scheduling went and Akali took that time to decompress. Moments where she wasn't relaxing in her jacuzzi or sleeping were usually spent with her bandmates, or more likely, with Evelynn. The rapper was content to just exist in the same space as her. She found herself taking pleasure in simplest things, such as watching the slight smile that would appear on the magenta-haired woman's face when she saw something amusing on her phone, or laughing about how ungraceful she looked when she fell asleep sprawled out on the couch. The diva didn't seem to mind her presence either. Since the banquet, Evelynn hadn't had any more panic attacks, nor had she struggled with the desire to go spend the night with some stranger. Everything felt, in some strange way, flawless.

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Sunday night came around and Akali struggled to sleep. It was nearly 1:30 in the morning, and the rapper could do nothing but toss and turn restlessly. She got out of bed, stripped off the tank-top and shorts she had been wearing, and headed for the bathroom. _Maybe a hot bath will help. _

She turned the water to an appropriate temperature and slipped down into the tub. Her thoughts crashed relentlessly within the confines of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't clear her conscience of all the turmoil, and no matter what her thoughts contained, they would somehow always drift back to the same place. Her eyes would close and all she could see was the face belonging to the broken woman sleeping soundly in the room next to hers.

_No. No-no-no, not again, _Akali told herself as she was smacked with the realization of what was happening. _Absolutely not, I can't do this. _She had gotten careless. What had started as an innocent attempt to help a friend pick up her fragmented pieces, was rapidly growing into feelings she never wanted to experience again. She tried to think of all the reasons why the emotions that were consuming her were wrong, but she couldn't manage distract herself from _whatever_ it was that drew her to Evelynn.

Her head was pounding now, and she was thoroughly overheated. On the contrary, the fear welling up inside her was beginning to make her feel numb. She curled herself into a ball on her bed, not even bothering to put on clothes, and stared at the wall until the world around her went black.

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Akali spent the next few days doing everything in her power to avoid the diva. Evelynn had knocked on her bedroom door a couple of times to see if everything was okay, and all the rapper could think to do was pretend to be asleep. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation, though she knew she couldn't keep this up forever. In the beginning, she thought that maybe if she isolated herself for a while, her feelings might go away and this would all be a thing of the past. Unfortunately, cutting Evelynn off has only succeeded in adding fuel to her fire. The more she tried to push the diva from her thoughts, the quicker they would come rushing back.

Akali got up off her bed and set her sights out the window. It was the middle of July and the garden couldn't look more alive. The cobblestone pathway that snaked through the flora led to a smaller fountain than the one out front, though their styles were similar. _Maybe some meditation will help?_

She headed to her door and quietly cracked it open, listening for any sign Evelynn. Hushed voices of the other three group members could be heard coming from the kitchen, though she couldn't quite make out what they were saying. If she was quiet enough, and thankfully, being quiet was a well-trained skill of hers, she would be able to sneak down the hall at the foot of the stairs and through the back door.

Her bare feet moved silently down the stairs, and the voices from the kitchen became much more audible.

"Well, what did you do to her?" Ahri's voice questioned accusatively from the kitchen table.

Evelynn scoffed. "Why do you always just assume I've done something wrong? Besides, I honestly can't remember doing anything wrong."

"I'm sure she has a reason. Akali doesn't really seem like the sort of person to do something without a purpose," Kai'Sa reassured the woman. "I highly doubt she's avoiding any of us on purpose. Just give her some time and I'm sure she'll be back to her normal self soon."

Akali pushed the conversation she had overheard to the back of her mind and refocused on her objective. Though she trusted herself entirely to make it outside without making a sound, her heart wouldn't stop trying to escape her chest.

Only once she had reached the garden did her nerves begin to settle. A little way off from the fountain, she discovered a small clearing that was nearly hidden by various shrubbery and tall grass which sheltered two metal benches. Perfect. She took a seat upon the soft grass between the pieces of furniture, and started to focus on separating the invasive thoughts from the questions she desperately needed to answer for herself.

_What am I doing? Avoiding Evelynn, obviously._

_Why? Because I'm a wreck and can't control my feelings. _

_What feelings? My overwhelming attraction to my best friend._

_And why is this a problem? Because I'm afraid I'll be hurt again, or that I'll push her away from me. _

_Aren't I pushing her away right now? Yeah, but this is different._

She sat with her forehead pressed against her bent knees as she slowly started to unravel all of her problems. The feeling of selfishness began to seep into her core. Everything that was bothering her about this whole situation only took her own emotions into account. She never even considered how confused and abandoned Evelynn probably felt right now. Her own irrational fears had blinded her, keeping her from confronting the very real issues right in front of her. _Ev is going through so much right now, and I'm only making it worse. I told her I would be there for her if she needed me, and here I am, hiding._

That was all Akali needed to make up her mind. While she was still unwilling to burden Evelynn with her raging emotions, she would still be there for her. _This won't be easy, but as long as Ev is happy._

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*****Content warning** \- Panic attack***


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7 – Nothing less than perfect

It was approaching 6pm when Akali finally decided to lift herself up off of the ground. Her body had stiffened from being so still for nearly four hours. Kai'Sa likely had dinner ready, and she hadn't realized how intense her hunger was until she stood up.

The rapper entered the house through the same door she had come out, and walked to the end of the hall. The lights in the living room were off and a movie was playing on the television. Ahri and Kai'Sa were in their usual spots on the loveseat and recliner respectively, and Evelynn was laying across the cushions Akali had unofficially claimed since her arrival, likely because it was much more difficult to actually see the T.V. from her normal seat.

She slipped quietly into the kitchen to quickly devour an apple and a granola bar before sneaking back out to the living room. Carefully and silently, the rapper crept up behind the portion of the couch where Evelynn was laying, and rested her arms along the cushion.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare at me like a psychopath, or did you need something?" Evelynn teased, her eyes still locked on the flat-screen.

"You're in my spot," the blue-eyed woman pointed out as she reached over the couch and poked the diva's shoulder.

"I thought you hated mushy romantic-comedies."

"I do," Akali replied as she shrugged her shoulders and walked around to the front of the couch. "Lift your head up for a sec."

Evelynn obliged. She grabbed the pillow that the woman had been laying on, sat down, and placed the pillow back on her lap, openly inviting the diva to rest her head down again. The magenta-haired woman just raised an eyebrow, smirked, and without question, took her up on her offer. Akali reached behind herself, grabbed the blanket that was draped over the back of the sectional, and tossed it over top of Evelynn. She mindlessly began running her fingers through magenta curls, amazed at how silky the tresses were. Occasionally, the diva would lean into her touch, wordlessly telling her how much she was relishing in the much-needed attention.

Before long, Evelynn had fallen asleep. Her breathing had slowed and the tenseness that was present when she first settled down had dissipated. Akali had no interest in watching whatever was still playing on the T.V., so instead she carefully pressed the button to recline her seat, dropped her head down onto the cushion, and closed her eyes.

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The shifting in her lap woke the rapper from her slumber. The television had been turned off, and the others had likely gone to bed. She looked down only to find Evelynn gazing back up at her.

"Are you just going to stare at me, or do you need something?" Akali mocked as she tried to keep a straight face. The woman on her lap couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.

"Tell me what's wrong, Rogue."

"I'm fi—"

"Don't you _even_ say it. Something is bothering you, tell me."

"…"

"You can't just barricade yourself in your room for three days and not speak a word to anyone, then pretend like something isn't wrong."

She had a point, but the last thing she was going to admit was the truth.

"I've just got a lot on my mind, I guess."

"Mhmm, keep going darling," Evelynn prodded relentlessly.

"…talking about that thing at the banquet the other day managed to resurface some repressed memories from my past that I wasn't quite ready to deal with," Akali half-lied. "For some reason it hit me pretty hard, and I'm used to dealing with those kinds of issues on my own."

The diva reached up and brushed a stray lock of hair behind Akali's ear. "You offered to listen when I needed it. Don't _ever _think I wouldn't do the same for you."

A chill coursed through her body when she felt Evelynn's fingertips graze the side of her cheek.

"I know, but as someone I'm close to once told me, old habits are hard to break."

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The morning came and, for the first time in a long time, Akali didn't wake up completely exhausted. In fact, she was actually kind of excited to get up and start her day. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted her phone light up. She grabbed it and squinted as the bright screen flashed in her eyes.

**New Message - Ahri**

'Come down stairs the second you wake up, it's super important!'

The rapper guessed it probably wasn't, but she was awake now and decided it probably wouldn't kill her to follow Ahri's request. She didn't bother fixing her hair or changing clothes, since she wanted to shower before putting effort into any of that.

In the kitchen stood the fox-woman, who was leaning against the edge of the counter, and at the table sat Kai'Sa. As soon as Ahri's caramel colored eyes met her blue ones, she was on her in an instant.

"Sit. _We_ need to chat," the woman told her in a sing-song voice as she moved behind her and pushed her towards one of the dining room chairs.

"Uh, sure," Akali responded hesitantly as she dropped onto the chair. The other two women got up next to her, and the grins they had spread across their faces were slightly unnerving.

"Ahem… Is there anything you want to tell us?" the blonde asked her innocently.

"Nothing in particular. Why? What did I do?" the rapper replied apprehensively.

"Well, we've noticed that you've been moping around like a lovesick puppy for the past few weeks. We just wanted to know why," Kai'Sa said as she gently bopped the blue-eyed woman's nose with her index finger.

"Uh, no I haven't?" Akali tried to argue as her cheeks started to turn pink once she figured out what they were referring to. She had always been told that she was an awful liar.

Ahri laughed. "We're not blind you know, we just wanted to hear it from you."

The rapper dropped her face into her hands to hide her embarrassment. _If these two could see it, there's no way Ev hasn't._

"She clearly has _no_ clue, in case you were worried about that," the fox-woman guessed. "She wouldn't be able to recognize actual affection if her life depended on it."

Akali couldn't decide whether that was supposed to make her feel better or worse, but she lifted her head up to look at the pair anyways.

"_Please_ don't say anything…"

"Do we look like _monsters_?" Kai'Sa giggled. "Oh no, we would never! Besides, this is the most time we've been able to spend with Eve in a long time, no way we'd risk messing that up."

"So… am I done being interrogated yet?" Akali joked after a few moments had passed.

"Not yet, _we_ want to know what happens next," the blonde continued.

"What do you mean what happens next? Nothing. _That's_ what happens. I'm not going to risk _whatever_ it is her and I have right now because I let my feelings get the best of me." The rapper heard her own voice start to tremble.

"Oh, well that's okay too, if that's what you want," Ahri said apologetically. "But really, we just wanted you to know that we're here for you if you ever need anything." Kai'Sa nodded enthusiastically beside her.

"Thanks, your approval means a lot to me."

"No problem, love. Oh, and you can go now," the fox-woman smiled as she stepped out from in front her.

As Akali moved to get up, Evelynn appeared in the entryway to the kitchen, yawning and rubbing her still tired eyes.

"Having a party without me, I see," the diva teased as she walked over to the refrigerator.

The rapper may have been able to maintain her composure, had the magenta-haired woman been wearing more than a tight pink tank-top and some skimpy black underwear. She could feel the blood rushing back to her cheeks.

Kai'Sa looked over and saw Akali's reaction, and couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"I've got things to do, talk later!" the dancer exclaimed as she hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Eve, you never were one for modesty, were you?" Ahri chuckled as she began to follow Kai'Sa upstairs. "Oh, and I was hoping we could all do lunch today around 1 o' clock. Let me know if that works," she shouted from the living room before retreating.

"They're being weird. I don't trust them," Evelynn commented as she turned towards Akali, a large smirk pulling across her face. "Like what you see?" she purred once she locked eyes with the rapper.

"Uh, sorry. I'm a little distracted this morning," she mumbled once she realized that she'd been caught staring.

"Mhmm," the diva hummed as she took a seat at the table. "Are we doing lunch with Ahri."

"Doesn't matter to me. I would enjoy getting out of the house for a while," the blue-eyed woman confessed as she tried her hardest to keep her gaze locked anywhere but on the soft skin of the woman sitting next to her.

"Alright, then I have to go get ready."

Akali rolled her eyes. "You look fine, you know."

"Oh, I know, but I could look _way_ better," Evelynn emphasized, and made for her bedroom.

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The burgundy-haired woman stepped under the cold water raining down from her showerhead in an effort to help her heartrate return to normal. After haphazardly washing and conditioning her hair, she jumped out and wrapped herself in a towel. When she stepped up to the mirror and set eyes on her reflection, never before had she felt so plain and uninteresting. The woman she had fallen for was breathtaking, beautiful enough to have anyone she wanted. _Not sure when I thought I had a chance, but I guess it's too late to be considering that now._

The rapper spent some time blow-drying her thick hair, straightening it, then pulling it back into a loose half ponytail. She followed her simple, natural makeup routine, and dressed herself in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a tight-fitting black K/DA t-shirt, and white flats.

The clock on her phone read 10:34. She still had a few hours to kill. _Maybe Evelynn will share her beauty secrets, _the rapper laughed to herself as she closed up her room and wandered over to the diva's. Akali knocked softly at the door. A few moments later, it cracked open and Evelynn peeked out at her through the slit.

"Yes, darling?"

"I'm bored, can I come in?" Akali asked hopefully.

"I suppose, though you're probably going to be just as bored in here as you were out there."

The diva stepped back, allowing her to enter. She crept inside, closing the door behind her. After hearing the latch click, she finally looked up and saw something she wasn't expecting. Walking into the bathroom was a freshly showered Evelynn, still wet and covered in nothing but a towel.

"Uhhh, you're naked."

"Mhmm. And _you're_ the one who asked to come into _my_ room while I was getting ready," she smirked. "Besides, I'm not even all the way naked, yet."

Akali knew she was being teased, but it didn't stop the flow of inappropriate thoughts that rushed into her head.

"Can you, um, be something _other_ than naked?"

"Not until you go into my closet and pick out what I'm wearing," the diva told her as she walked back into her bathroom. "Come."

"But what if I pick the wrong thing?" Akali asked as she carefully kept her eyes off of the body of the toweled woman standing in front of her.

"You say that as if you think I own something that _doesn't _look good. Now hurry or I'm going out to lunch wearing nothing."

The rapper had an important decision to make. She _should _be smart and pick something that was somewhat modest, saving herself from the humility of not being able to keep her eyes to herself all day, _or_ she could take advantage of this situation and pick an outfit that she would almost certainly regret choosing later. Akali took a deep breath. _Carpe diem, I guess…_

After sifting through the ridiculously large collection of clothes, she settled on a white crop top with short sleeves meant to sit below the shoulders, light blue waist-high denim short-shorts, and black suede thigh-high stiletto boots. She grabbed the pile and headed out of the closet.

"I thought I asked if you could get less naked, not more," Akali commented as she found Evelynn in a strapless black bra and matching black panties. "Here."

"Why won't you look at me, Rogue? A little bit of nudity never hurt anyone," the woman purred as she grabbed the clothing from Akali's hands. She reached up, placed her fingers under the rapper's chin and turned her head so she was looking directly into her golden eyes. "I don't bite, you know," she murmured seductively before heading back to the bathroom.

Akali sat down on the couch. _Yeah, definitely should have picked something different._

"For someone who is afraid of seeing me naked, you didn't exactly pick out much for me to put on," Evelynn commented as came back out into the bedroom. "Not that I'm complaining. How do I look?"

Her eyes were glued to the diva. Even though she hadn't done her makeup yet and wet hair still drooped down over her shoulders, she was still the most stunning woman she'd ever seen. "Um, you look amazing, actually," she muttered as best as she could.

"I still have a lot left to do, you don't have to wait here if you don't want to."

"I do, though."

"You can lay on my bed if it would be more comfortable," the diva suggested.

"Alright. Thanks, Ev."

Evelynn nodded and went back to her bathroom vanity to blow-dry and curl her hair, as well as do her makeup. Akali took her up on her offer to move over to the bed, mostly because it allowed her the opportunity to watch the magenta-haired woman get ready.

It took nearly an hour and a half before Evelynn was ready to go. Ahri and Kai'Sa were already waiting for them down in the living room.

"Where are we going?" Akali asked the blonde, her stomach silently begging her for food.

"You'll see. It's a surprise," the fox woman teased. "Eve, I sent you a message with the details, you know where it is. Meet you guys there!"


	8. Chapter 8

***A/N – this is one of those kind-of-hard-to-swallow chapters I mentioned. I recommend checking the end of the chapter for content warnings first if you have sensitive topics you'd like to avoid.***

Ch 8 – An evening to forget

Evelynn parked the car around back, while Akali noticed that they were at some up-scale sushi restaurant.

"We can go in and get our table," the diva suggested as she began to open her car door.

"Good, I'm absolutely starving."

The woman who greeted them as they entered the building seemed to recognize the two. "Good afternoon Evelynn, and Akali, right? Will the others be joining you today?"

"Mhmm. Thank you, Kaori," Evelynn nodded and started towards a booth in the back corner of the establishment. The rapper followed, and accepted the invitation to sit on the inside of the booth before the diva sat down beside her.

It wasn't long before their waiter stopped by and asked for drink orders.

"I'll have my usual, so will Ahri. Not sure about Kai'Sa, so wait on hers."

"Hot tea is fine for me, thank you," Akali responded as the man looked over at her expectantly.

"This place is really nice," the blue-eyed woman commented once their server had vanished.

Evelynn laughed. "I thought you might like it. Hey, I'll be right back."

The rapper nodded as she took out her phone, searching for something to keep her busy until the others arrived.

"Hey Rogue!" the dancer called out as she and the fox-woman approached they table.

"Hey guys, this place is awesome!" Akali commented as the dancer and singer slid into the bench across from her.

"Where's Evelynn?" Ahri asked as she picked up a menu.

The rapper shrugged. "Don't know. We sat down and ordered drinks, then she said she'd be right back and left."

The blonde and the purple-haired woman gave each other a look, then turned back to her.

"Sooo," the fox-woman started hesitantly. "Next time, you should probably try convincing her not to leave."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"You're not going to be thrilled to hear this, I'm sure, but this is usually what happens when she's looking for… you know, a night out or whatever," Ahri admitted quietly.

"… Oh."

The waiter returned, interrupting their current conversation. Akali was pretty sure he asked Kai'Sa what she wanted to drink and started to take meal orders, but she couldn't think straight enough to process what he was saying. Honestly, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Ma'am, and for you?" he said as he turned his attention to the rapper.

"Um… I'm not really hun—"

Ahri cut her off. "She'll have what I'm having, thanks love."

The man once again left them alone. Akali let her head drop onto the table, her forehead resting along the edge of the wooden surface.

"Oh, hey Eve!" Kai'Sa said, feigning her cheeriness.

"Rogue, what's wrong?" the diva asked worriedly, ignoring the dancers greeting once she noticed Akali's current state.

"She's fine, she's just really hungry," Ahri lied as she softly kicked the rapper's leg under the table.

She heard Evelynn release a relieved sigh next to her as she picked her head up off the table, attempting to act normal.

"Don't worry, I ordered for you," the fox-woman said happily to the woman across from her, hoping to regain some sort of positive energy at their table. "So Bokkie, how has your morning been?"

"Great, actually," Kai'Sa said with a genuine smile. "I went out to breakfast with an old friend of mine. We went clothes shopping and walked through the park, it was really refreshing!"

Akali wanted nothing more than to be able to focus on what her bandmates were saying, but her thoughts were elsewhere. This was the first time Evelynn was going to _go_ _out_ since the night she saw her leave at the club, but it was much different now. She had learned about the woman's struggles, that the high she got from being lusted for overpowered her self-control. The thought of someone putting their hands on the diva for nothing more than their own pleasure, just to go on with their own life as though they didn't just violate a vulnerable soul made Akali livid. And it was her fault. She could have tried to stop her.

"Are you just going to poke at your food, darling?" Evelynn's voice asked, drawing her out of stupor.

She hadn't even noticed that the food had come, or that everyone else was nearly finished eating.

"I'm just going to bring it home, I think."

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The car ride back home was uncomfortable to say the least. Evelynn could tell that something was wrong with Akali, but she wouldn't even respond when asked if she wanted to talk about it. When they eventually pulled into the garage, the rapper rushed out of the car and bolted to the onto the elevator, not even bothering to wait for the diva.

She made it up the stairs to find Akali's room door closed, but there was little doubt that she was hiding within.

"Rogue. I don't know what's wrong, and you won't exactly tell me," she spoke against the wooden door, "but I just wanted to let you know that I made some plans tonight, and if you decide you want to talk, Ahri and Kai'Sa will be here to listen, okay?"

No answer, though she wasn't really expecting one.

She made her way to her bedroom and searched for something more appropriate to wear for this evening. Eventually she settled on a white halter-top mini dress, a sheer gray shawl, and matching gray heels. After changing, the golden-eyed woman went downstairs to lay on the couch until it was time to leave.

Once her phone told her it was 6pm, she rose and walked into the kitchen. She had been hoping to run into one of her other two bandmates, but there was no sign of them, so she left them a quick note on the countertop.

'Ahri & Kai'Sa

Not sure what's wrong with Rogue, she wouldn't talk to me. I'm going out, so I told her that she could talk to you two if she needed anything.

Take care of her.

-Eve'

She plugged the address she was given into the GPS on her cellphone, took a deep breath, and followed the directions.

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After a 25-minute drive, Evelynn arrived at her destination. She had been taken to a nicely kept, expensive house in the suburbs, which wasn't surprising considering the appearance of tonight's company.

A few moments after ringing the doorbell, the man from lunch opened the door. He was incredibly handsome, with carefully styled black hair, well-manicured facial hair, and an outfit that had clearly been tailored to his exact proportions. His eyes hungrily assessed the diva's curvaceous form before inviting her inside.

"Can I get you something to drink?" he offered as he led her to a couch in his living room.

"Sure, the strongest thing you've got. It's been a long day."

He walked over to a cabinet against the far wall, grabbed two glasses and a bottle of whisky from within, and poured some for them both.

"I'm not really one for small talk," the man commented as he handed her the drink. "Finish that and we can go upstairs."

Evelynn nodded. "Fair enough," she said before taking the entirety of the vessel's contents into her mouth in one go and rising up from her seat.

He motioned for her to follow him up a flight of stairs near where she had entered the house. They walked into the bedroom, the sound of the diva's heels clicking against the hardwood floor being the only thing to break the deafening silence.

"Sit," he insisted as he patted a spot on the bed.

Evelynn took a deep breath and did as she was told. Her company walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled over the top of it so he was behind the diva. He brushed the hair from her neck and placed his lips against her soft skin.

Normally, the magenta-haired woman would be savoring every bit of this, but for some reason her thoughts kept flickering back to the upset blue-eyed woman she left at home. _I hope she's okay. _Evelynn quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind and tried to focus on the hands exploring her exposed flesh. _What if something is really wrong? _The guilt pushed its way back.

"I'm sorry," the diva said with a sigh. "I can't do this right now. I need to go."

"Wait, what? _You_ offered this to _me. _Do you think I'm not good enough for you?" the man snapped at her, the alcohol clearly having taken affect.

"No, I just have something I need to take care of." She moved to stand up, but the man pulled her back down by her hair.

"Yeah, and you promised to take care of something here. We had an agreement," he spoke harshly in her ear.

"Let me go!" Evelynn demanded as she felt herself starting to panic.

The man laughed at her. "I'll let you go once we're done."

A cold, sharp blade made its way to her throat. She assumed it was a pocket knife from the size of it. He was much stronger than her, meaning her options were limited. The man grabbed both of her hands and brought them behind her back, tightly binding them together using his belt.

"Now you wait here, I'll be back."

He hurried into the attached bathroom, and Evelynn could hear him rummaging around. _This may be the only chance I get, _she told herself as she slipped off her shoes and rushed over to the closed door. She couldn't manage to get a grip on the doorknob. Her hands were tied too tightly, and as much as she tried to create some slack in the leather, she wasn't able.

"Ah-ah, I don't think so," the man sneered as he reappeared in the opening to the bathroom. He ran over to pull her away from the door, but as he got close, Evelynn screamed, kicked him in the groin as hard as she could, and ran to the other side of the room.

"You dumb cunt," he hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm done playing around."

He charged at her, but as the diva tried to dodge out of the way, the man grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her to the ground. The fist met her cheekbone before she even had an opportunity to react. Her vision temporarily faltered and she writhed on the ground as the hand around her neck began to deprive her of oxygen. Suddenly, his grasp on her throat loosened and she tried to gasp for air, but was stopped when a towel was shoved over her nose and throat. She felt her surroundings start to darken. _What have I done_? Evelynn panicked, as the world around her went black.

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When the diva came to, she found herself lying in the backseat of her car. Her head was pounding, and as she looked down, she noticed that her dress was covered in blood. The empty parking lot that her car sat in was definitely not where she had left it, but by some miracle her keys were laying in the passenger seat, along with her other personal effects. Piece by piece, memories from last night slowly came back to her. She was thankful to be alive. There had occasionally been altercations between herself and her partners in the past, but never anything like this.

She went to move from the back up to the driver's seat, and her legs nearly gave out from the pain. _Well, that clears up what happened after I blacked out. _Her now-cracked phone screen read 4:05 am. After prompting her GPS to take her home, she finally saw he face in her rear-view mirror. Her left eye was severely bruised and swollen, her throat was an angry red color, and dried blood was caked down her nose and chin. She laughed slightly at the idea of how badly Ahri was going to chew her out when she saw what had happened to her normally flawless face. _I'm sure it'll be fine once the swelling goes down, _she sighed as she followed her GPS back to civilization.

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Everyone was still asleep when she got back. The diva snuck upstairs, and immediately jumped into her shower. The blood that covered the entire bottom half of her face mixed with the hot water and trailed down her body, pooling on the tile floor of her shower. She rinsed whatever questionable substances she found gluing the ends of her hair together down the drain, and just stood there, letting the water flow over her broken body. Her thighs and stomach were adorned with bruises that she hadn't noticed earlier, but the heat of the shower helped to distract her from the pain. Eventually, the water turned cold and she was forced to get out and dry off. She threw on a pair of shorts that were long enough to cover the deep purple marks, and covered her top half with a hoodie. _There's no way I'm sleeping right now,_ she determined, and she found her self standing in front of Akali's door.

The diva didn't knock out of fear of accidently waking the woman up, instead she just quietly slipped into the room. Akali was bundled up in her comforter, her hair everywhere since it looked like she had left it down before going to bed. The rapper's face looked so serene, unlike earlier when she seemed so distracted. Evelynn didn't even try to rouse her, the comfort of being in the same space as her was enough to calm her nerves. She placed her back against the wall, and slid down to the floor, her head dropping on her knees.

"Ev?" murmured a quiet voice from the other side of the room.

She couldn't look up, the fear of Akali's judgement made her whole body stiffen. When she didn't respond, the rapper sat up and rose from her bed.

"Ev, are you okay?" she asked as she kneeled on the floor beside her.

"No. I messed up," Evelynn managed to choke out, her gaze still locked on the floor between her legs.

"Look at me, Ev," the rapper pleaded.

"I'm sorry I left earlier, I knew you were upset and I sho–"

Akali cut her off once her blue eyes met the diva's, a hand shooting up to gently caress the uninjured side of her face. "What happened?!"

"I told you, I messed up," Evelynn chuckled softly as she repeated herself.

"Hold on, I'm going to get something to help the swelling," the rapper said as she sprinted out of the room.

Moments later, she returned with a washcloth, a bag of ice, a glass of water, and some painkillers. The burgundy-haired woman dropped the pills into her hand, wrapped the cloth around the ice, then gently held it to Evelynn's cheekbone.

"Talk to me, Ev."

"Clearly I have poor choice in men."

"Evelynn."

"Fine. I went out to meet someone. Things were going fine until I felt terrible about what I was doing and told him I needed to leave. He didn't like that, apparently. I don't really remember much more, it's all kind of hazy."

It didn't take much to see the fire in Akali's eyes. She was furious.

"I'm so sorry, I should have tried to get you to stay," she apologized, blue eyes filling with guilt.

"And what makes you think I would have listened?" the diva joked, trying to lighten to mood. "I've been told I'm horribly stubborn."

"You are."

"Thanks for waking up and helping me dealing with the problems I create for myself," Evelynn said with a smirk as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.

"Of course," Akali whispered.

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*****Content warning** – Coping with addiction, physical assault, threated assault with a weapon, drugging, implied rape***


	9. Chapter 9

Ch 9 – Demons in the night

Akali blinked a few times, slightly disoriented by her current location until she remembered last night. After Evelynn had calmed down enough to be able to get up off of the floor, the rapper offered to let her sleep in her bed for the night. She had sat by the diva, nursing her swollen eye until the woman had fallen asleep, and as to not be too awkward, chose to sleep on the couch at the far side of her room.

Akali got up and walked over to her bedside, wanting to check on how Evelynn's swelling was doing. She got there as the woman began to stretch and crack open her sleepy eyes.

"Hey Ev," she greeted softly as she brushed the woman's hair out of her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful. Do I look as bad as I feel?"

"You _do_ know that I will never think you look bad, right?"

Evelynn laughed. "Darling, you _do_ know that you don't need to lie to me to keep my delicate ego from being hurt, right?"

"Shut up or I'll kick you out of my bed. Now come here and let me see your face."

The swelling had gone down significantly since last night, but some puffiness still remained.

"Good news, it looks way better than it did yesterday. Bad news, I'm not sure you're going to be able to cover it up yet," Akali admitted.

"No one finds out about this," Evelynn murmured in a serious tone.

"Wait, what? No, you can't just let that guy get away with this!"

"Rogue... if I make a big deal of it, people will be talking about this for weeks. I'll look like I can't handle myself. I don't need that kind of humility right now."

Akali was furious that this disgusting human was about to get away with committing a variety of different crimes, but the diva had a point.

"That means Ahri and Kai'Sa too," Evelynn added. "They will _freak out_ and want tell someone."

"You are aware that we live with them, right? This isn't just going to magically heal in a day," the rapper pointed out.

The golden-eyed woman walked over to the mirror to assess the damage. "The swelling will likely be gone by tomorrow, and there's no amount of bruising that a little bit of makeup can't fix."

Akali sighed. She wasn't particularly happy about the way Evelynn wanted to handle this, but she trusted her choice anyways. The last thing the rapper wanted to do was upset her.

"Okay. I'll do whatever you need me to."

"Does that offer come with a hot sponge bath?" the diva teased and winked with her good eye.

"Ev, why do you do this to me?"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

It was nearly 3pm before Evelynn worked up any sort of an appetite. They had spent the better part of the day holed up in her bedroom, watching whatever came on the television. Ahri had sent the rapper a few text messages asking what she was doing and when she was going to 'stop being lazy and get out of bed'. It didn't seem like she knew that Evelynn was even home, which certainly worked in their favor.

"What are you hungry for?" Akali asked the diva for the third time now.

"I told you, I'm not hungry, I just know I should eat something. I don't want to have to think about _what_ that something is."

The rapper sighed. "Fine. Just don't complain when you don't like what I bring you. I'm not going on another stealth mission just because you're stubborn."

She walked over to her door and pressed her ear to the wood. The hall was silent. _With any luck, maybe the others are out shopping. _The woman slipped out, carefully ensuring that the door-handle didn't click. _Both doors are closed, that's a good sign. _Slowly and without a sound, she made it to the foyer. The kitchen was empty, and she took that opportunity to grab Evelynn a glass of water and a bag of chips from the pantry, anxious to get back upstairs quickly.

"Ugh, I hadn't gone swimming in so long," a distant voice said.

_Oh no._

"Same here, that was way refreshing!"

The sound was getting closer. There was no way she was making it out of this without a conversation.

"Oh, uh, hey guys," Akali stammered as Ahri and Kai'Sa walked through the entryway to the kitchen, hair still wet from their swim.

"Hey! Finally, you're up!" the fox-woman exclaimed. "I don't suppose you've talked to Evelynn at all, have you? She wasn't in her room this morning and I haven't seen her all day."

"Uh, yeah, she's actually been really sick all morning," the rapper lied, trying incredibly hard to maintain a good poker face. "I guess her bed got all sweaty from the fever, so she asked if she could lay in my bed for a while. She's asleep right now."

"That's terrible!" Kai'Sa cried. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"N-no, I've got it. Don't worry about it," she stammered. "I'm going to go back upstairs though, just in case she wakes up and needs me to get her anything."

Before she could get a reply, the rapper was already making her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She opened the door to her room, went inside, and swiftly closed and locked it behind her.

"You look like you've just seen a ghost, darling."

"Ahri and Kai found me in the kitchen. I told them you were sick, sleeping, and not to bother you."

The diva dramatically faked a cough and fell back onto the bed. "Good thing I have you to take care of me, however would I have survived?"

Akali rolled her eyes. "Here, I brought you some water and the first snack I could find."

"You know, chips aren't exactly part of my diet, Rogue."

"Too bad, it's all you're getting," the rapper responded with a fake pout.

"I was joking, darling. Now come help me eat these."

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For the next three weeks, Akali watched Evelynn cover her wounds each morning. The magenta-haired woman would still zone out every once in a while, but slowly she started to recover. Occasionally, she would break down. The rapper couldn't blame her, what she had gone through was terrible. If she had been in that situation, she couldn't even consider how broken she would be. _Well, not that Ev isn't struggling, she's just much stronger than I will ever be._

Ahri and Kai'Sa never saw through the mask the diva would build up for herself each day. Her proud nature and aura of confidence never faltered, until she and Akali were alone. Sometimes she would cry, and others she would just stare out the window at nothing. The more she learned about Evelynn, the real Evelynn, not just the façade of a woman she put up for everyone else, the stronger her feelings for her became. She loved her arrogant humor, her playful attitude. Akali found herself cherishing each and every second she had with the diva, good and bad. But as her need for the woman's closeness grew, the fear of expressing her affection became a constant itch in the back of her mind.

11:39pm. She still couldn't sleep. The rapper had been in bed since Evelynn had left for her room around 9, but slumber continued to escape her grasp.

Akali stared at the ceiling, did all that she could to focus on slowing her breathing, and shut her eyes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Evelynn found herself in 'The Hexdrinker,' standing near the edge of their normal balcony. The music was strangely quiet, and the lights seemed to be moving uneasily slow. Not a single person occupied the dancefloor. _Come to think of it, there's no one here at all, _she realized. Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention. A man was sitting alone in a booth, swirling a glass of liquid while another sat untouched opposite him. She vaguely recognized him as someone she had gone home with, though the encounter wasn't recent. A woman came and sat across from him. _So, I'm dreaming, _she noticed, as the figure looked nearly identical to her. Dream Evelynn picked up the drink, took a sip, and basked in the way the man was devouring her with his eyes. The look of lust in the stranger's eyes was blinding, but the woman in the booth didn't seem to be bothered by it. She got up and sat next to him. A hand slithered around her middle, a finger tracing just under the waistband of her skirt.

Both of the booth's occupants rose and began to head to the exit. For a brief moment, Evelynn met the gaze of her dream counterpart and those golden eyes were screaming 'save me.' _No, wait, you don't have to keep doing this to yourself,_ she tried to scream, but the only noise she heard was inside her own head, as if she were screaming at herself. Her panicked voice kept repeating itself, reverberating off the inner walls of her skull, growing louder and louder until the only thing she could think to do was run.

The backdoor only led her to something worse as she saw dream Evelynn with a different man. His lips moved along her throat, while hands moved aggressively under her skirt. Before she had the chance to stop whatever she was witnessing, she blinked and she was no longer in the alleyway.

The blinding white marble in the banquet hall from weeks ago stood before her. She watched as the eyes of her followers didn't move from dream Evelynn's form as she moved through the tables, every pair starved, and her their salvation. Her clone did not sit and watch those two lovers share their moment together, love was not her priority. She needed no more than to bask in the gaze of her admirers.

_Akali. She was here before. I need to find her._ The diva left her dream self behind as she started towards the hallway that she had hidden in before. _Akali!_ Her voice still refused to make sound. There was a hunched form sitting at the bottom of the stairwell where she had once made her makeshift sanctuary.

"Ev," a voice said as she got close.

_Rogue, please, help me…_

"Are you okay, Ev?" Akali stood up from her step and embraced her.

She could feel herself shaking. The rapper placed a hand on her cheek, and looked deep into her eyes.

"Please be okay. I need you to be okay," Akali pleaded. Suddenly, her hand went ice cold, and Evelynn looked down to find a blade piercing the rapper's chest right where her heart would be. Blood dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and she choked on her words, the life draining from those piercing blue eyes.

"Akali, no! I need you!" she shrieked as her throat finally produced noise.

Her body vanished, and all that remained was the man from the other night with a bloody knife still in his grasp.

"Don't look at her, look at us," dozens of voices echoed around her, before the man slashed her eyes with the gore covered knife.

"You don't deserve to see us. You are filth. Worthless, heartless filth. We deserve our pleasure, while you deserve nothingness," the many voices called out around her as her vision went black. She could feel hands crawling up her body, undressing her, feeling her. Running was impossible, limbs rooted her to the ground, and as hard as she tried to blink the darkness from her eyes, her efforts were in vain. _This is not what I wanted_! It was not the love she truly needed. A pair of hands gripped her shoulders and began to shake her.

"Evelynn!" the voices screeched. Her name was so loud.

"Ev, please..." Akali's begging returned, overpowering the choral pandemonium.

"Ev!"

The diva's eyes shot open to see Akali straddling her. Fear pulsed through her blue eyes, followed by relief when she noticed the woman below her come to.

Evelynn was sweating, her breathing erratic. The panic was beginning to subside as reality began to solidify around her.

"Akali," she murmured as she sat up and wrapped her arms so tightly around the woman sitting on her thighs. The rapper's hair was down and draped around her neck, allowing Evelynn to bury her face into the long locks, surrounding herself in Akali's scent. It calmed her.

The burgundy-haired woman returned the gesture, tightly but gently embracing the diva's head, pulling her against her chest. Fingers combed through her disorderly magenta tresses, and she focused her thoughts wholly on the rapper's soft ministrations.

"Nightmare?" Akali murmured the question into her ear after she was noticeably more tranquil.

"Don't ever, _ever_, get stabbed," Evelynn mumbled into her hair.

"Uh, I'll try? No promises though," the rapper chuckled, trying to cheer her up. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really. I'd rather not think about it," the diva admitted. "Hey Rogue, I know this isn't fair, but will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone right now."

The woman nodded. "Let me just go get some blankets and a pillow quick."

"Why? I already have some," the golden-eyed woman said as she patted the bed next to her. "There's no way I'm making you sleep on the couch, if that's what you were thinking."

Akali blushed. "Oh, um, yeah, this is fine," she said as she hopped off Evelynn's lap and laid down beside her.

"Don't be so shy. I'm not going to try to seduce you or anything," the diva said as she turned towards the other woman, leaning her head against her shoulder and throwing an arm over her midsection. "Thought, I don't doubt that I could if I wanted to," she hummed in the rapper's ear with as much charm as she could muster in that moment.

Akali just wound her arms around her, holding her close. Evelynn had never felt so safe.

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*****Content warning** – Mention of assault. PTSD. Nightmares including non-consensual touching, death, violence. ***


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10 – Not like this

"This is the last thing we have to do today, promise," Ahri said with a sigh, her ears drooping. Even the blonde who was normally energetic and lively seemed to be feeling the strain of last two weeks.

The band's schedule had been nearly unbearable as of late. With Pop/Stars blowing up and their upcoming FF 15 tour starting in the Spring, they were being booked for all sorts of interviews, guest appearances and performances. During the first week, the group had to fly to Japan for a charity show, and after that the stress only continued to pile on.

"Yeah, but what about tomorrow and the next day and the day after that," Kai'Sa whined.

"Well, thankfully we have the weekend off, including tomorrow and Monday," the fox-woman tried to say with some enthusiasm. "But after that, we're back to, well, _this_. So, you guys better make the most of it."

The four mustered up what liveliness they had left to go in and get this documentary interview over with. Akali had been on auto-pilot for what felt like the entire last week. She couldn't even recall how many different things they had done, or even what any of it was for. They would ask questions or take photos and she'd just answer and look good. There had been minimal personal time, which meant that her one-on-one time with Evelynn had been practically non-existent. Thankfully, the diva seemed to be as distracted by all of the events as she was, and it helped to keep her nightmares and panic attacks at bay.

Akali was unable to pay much attention to the questions she was being asked during the interview, and found herself zoning out during the majority of it. The thought of a four-day weekend, no interruptions, starting once this was over was the only thing on her mind.

"Ready, darling?" Evelynn's voice broke her out of her daze. "We're finally done, which is good because you seem really out of it."

"I am. I'm tired."

The diva smiled as she led her out to her car. "Let's go home. I've missed you."

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When they eventually made it back to the house it was nearly 8pm, and as usual, they had arrived before the others. Neither of them bothered to turn any lights on, since both were too exhausted to care. Akali went immediately upstairs, Evelynn right behind her.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" The diva asked through a yawn.

"Sure," the burgundy-haired woman responded. "Is everything okay?"

"I already told you, I've missed you."

Akali's face turned a light shade of pink as she opened the door, inviting Evelynn inside.

"Ev, uh, what are you doing?"

"Taking my clothes off," the golden-eyed woman answered nonchalantly, wasting no time as she stripped down to her undergarments. "I'm not sleeping in my clothes. If you don't like it, you don't have to look."

The rapper's face continually grew warmer. Thankfully, the lights were out and the likelihood that Evelynn would notice was slim. She went to her closet and changed into a tank-top and shorts. The diva was already curled up under the blankets of her bed, on the side closest to the window. Akali slipped in beside her, careful to leave enough space between them, though despite the distance her pulse was still racing.

"Hey, Rogue..." Evelynn hesitated. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Mhmm. Whatever you need."

"I hope this isn't too awkward, but I've gone far too long without sharing a bed with someone and I was wondering if you might, well, hold me?" Her voice became increasingly more timid by the end of her request, which was not like her at all. "You can say no, if that's too weird..."

"Roll over," was all the rapper was able to say while struggling to keep her voice steady. The diva did as she asked, and Akali shifted herself so she was right up against the other woman. Evelynn was wearing practically nothing, and she could feel the warmth of her body through her thin shirt.

Before her mind had a chance to even consider her actions, she noticed that her fingertips were already tracing lines down the diva's shoulders and over the silky skin of her curvaceous waist. Akali couldn't stop even if she tried, she wanted this so badly. She buried her face into silky locks and she could feel the tiny hairs on the nape of the woman's neck brushing against her quivering lips as her breath rolled off Evelynn's delicate flesh. The magenta-haired woman wrapped an ankle around Akali's leg and positioned it between her own. A hand reached up under the pillows and met her own, grasping it tightly, pulling it so her arm wrapped around the diva. The fingers from her other hand laced in between her own, and her lips ghosted a nearly nonexistent distance above her knuckles.

Even with growing up in a dojo, the rapper's resolve had never been this near to shattering. Her whole body was invigorated by their closeness, and her mind wouldn't stop playing through the countless scenarios of what could happen if she pushed herself just a tiny bit farther.

"Thank you, Rogue," the diva's voice murmured shakily, and Akali let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Anything for you, Ev."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Come morning, Akali had wandered to the living room, not wanting to wake the still sleeping Evelynn.

"Hey, you're up early," Kai'Sa called to the rapper in a hushed tone once she had caught sight of her.

"Oh, yeah, I guess. I'm just a bit restless, that's all. I was thinking I might go swimming, try to clear my head."

"That actually sounds like a great idea! I might have to do that later today too," the dancer whispered excitedly. "Oh, I don't suppose you've seen Eve, have you? When I got up her bedroom door was open, but she wasn't there, and none of her cars are gone."

This was not a conversation she was ready to have, but she also didn't want her friend to worry.

"Uhh, yeah... so, before you _instantly_ think what I know you're going to, it's _not_ like that," Akali said preemptively, hoping that the purple-haired woman in front of her wouldn't freak out. "She stayed in my room last night, she's still sleeping."

The dancer's eyes grew wide and a huge grin spread across her face. "Ooooh, getting _serious_, are we?"

"I just told you that's exactly what _didn't_ happen."

"Whatever you say, Roguey!"

Akali rolled her eyes. "I'm leaving now," she retorted playfully, and started down the back hallway.

The gym and the pool shared a small connected locker room with showers and a place to change. The rapper collected her bathing suit, quickly put it on, and went out to the pool. Since half of the pool was outside, the water was nice and warm thanks to the hot mid-August sun. She let down her long hair, waded out to the deeper end of the pool, and let herself sink beneath the surface. She began to wonder how long she could keep up _whatever_ it was she and Evelynn were doing before she couldn't control herself anymore. Last night was difficult, not that she didn't enjoy it, but the golden-eyed beauty was starting to push the limits of her self-discipline. And how far was she taking Evelynn's trust in her. Akali had no idea how _she_ might feel about their situation. But here she was, taking advantage of the diva when she was most vulnerable. Evelynn may think of her intentions as pure, when most days they were anything but, and that wasn't fair. She surfaced for air, and swam over to sit on the steps to continue contemplating her dilemma. _I guess if she's happy, that's all the really matters. _

She didn't realize she wasn't alone until the surface of the water behind her was broken. A body sat behind her, arms curving around her waist and a head leaning in between her shoulder blades.

"Hey Ev. Did you sleep okay?"

"Better than I have in a _very_ long time. Thank you, Rogue," the diva said with a sigh. "I know I ask way too much of you, but I need your help."

"I _did_ mean it when I said I would be here for you whenever you needed it," Akali teased.

"Last night, I was reminded that I'm missing something in my life that I've wanted for as long as I can remember. But I don't even know what, or who, I'm looking for." She was nervously picking at her fingernails, hesitating before she continued. "I'm worried that if I met someone who truly cared about me, I would have no idea because I've never known what, you know, _that,_ feels like. Rogue… I want you to help me find my soulmate, if that's even a real thing."

Akali had to stop her body from tensing up. The lump that formed in her throat, threatening to make her vomit, almost stopped her from responding, but she forced it down.

"Uh, yeah. Of course," she struggled to keep the disappointment out of her tone. "Whatever I can do to make sure you're happy."

"Thank you. You're the greatest friend I could ever ask for."

_Ouch._

This whole conversation was tearing her apart, but the last thing the diva said stung deep down to her core. Her fingers continued to run up and down Evelynn's arms that were still grasping her midsection. The rapper couldn't bring herself to stop, especially now, knowing that the woman she cared so desperately for was about to focus her attention into someone else.

Fortunately for her, the water surrounding them made it easy to hide the tears that she couldn't hold back.

That night, Evelynn slept in her arms again. As much as Akali knew that she needed to be strong and start snuffing out the emotions that drew her to the diva, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't know when the last night she'd have with the one her heart had slowly devoted itself to over the past month and a half would be, so until that time came, she planned to savor every moment they had together.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Rogue, are you awake?"

Akali opened one eye and turned her head to see the magenta-haired woman looking at her excitedly with her phone in her hand.

"Come here, I need your help," Evelynn said as she wiggled her arm under the sleepy rapper and pulled her in, resting her head on her shoulder. "I downloaded a dating app. I want you to help me look."

The burgundy-haired woman groaned. "What time is it?"

"If I tell you, you'll get mad and try to go back to sleep, so don't worry about it darling."

"Ugh. Fine. Let me see your profile," she asked as she threw an arm over Evelynn's stomach and got comfortable.

The diva tapped a few buttons and brought up a screen that displayed a photo and her name.

"Uh, how are they supposed to know which one is you if you use a picture of both of us and don't tell them?"

"You do remember that we're famous, right? How would they not know?"

"Why don't you just use one of the photos from one of our shoots or something then," Akali suggested. "You look amazing in those."

Evelynn shrugged. "Because I like _this_ one. I'm not changing it."

"Okay, where's your bio?"

"My what?"

"The place where you talk about yourself," the rapper deadpanned. "You know, where you brag about your accomplishments and list your hobbies and stuff?"

"Why would I need that? My life story is already on the internet, if they want it, they can go find it."

"_Ev, _that's not how this works," she explained. "You're supposed to put up a sexy picture, then put some quirky things in your bio so everyone can see how wonderful and unique you are, then you sift through a bunch of pointless messages until you hopefully find someone who isn't disgusting."

"Just help me look for someone who might be interested in me," Evelynn said as she started to swipe though some pictures.

"You can't just look at the pictures," Akali commented as she grabbed the phone from her hands, scrolling down to check the profiles of some of her matches. Everyone seemed so average, and they were leagues below the diva in all aspects. "They're all stupid," the rapper huffed.

"Don't be so jealous, darling," she teased, not realizing how close she was to the truth. "How about that one? He's cute."

"It's not about them being cute, it's about them not being terrible."

"I'm sure I've had worse. I'm going to message him," the woman beside her decided, plucking her phone back.

"Am I done? I can go back to sleep?"

"Yes, but I'd prefer if you didn't have to go back to your side of the bed to do it," Evelynn hummed as she played with her burgundy tresses.

Akali's only response was to bury her face into the diva's neck and close her eyes.

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When the rapper finally woke, the bed next to her was cold. The phone on her nightstand read 10:47, but she didn't feel like she had slept at all. Her slumber had been occasionally interrupted by brief bouts of nausea, as the threat of losing Evelynn was becoming more and more real.

The rumbling in her stomach was aggressively loud, and she had trouble remembering the last time she had eaten. Rolling out of bed took a lot of effort, but eventually her hunger forced her to wander downstairs in search of food.

"Good morning, dear!" Ahri called out to her as she entered the kitchen. The blonde was leaning against the countertop, and Evelynn was seated at the table, typing away on her phone.

Before she could return the fox-woman's greeting, the diva had jumped out of her seat, walked up behind the rapper, and draped her arms around her neck, phone still in hand.

"Hey, Ev," she said with a smile, trying to hide her internal conflict. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ahri grin and wink at her, but that was all it took for the happiness to drain from her face.

"I've got a date lined up for tonight, the same guy from this morning. I'm supposed to meet him at The Hexdrinker at 9pm. Will you come with and make sure I'm not being an idiot?"

"You already know the answer to that."

"And you'll help me get ready?"

"You know the answer to that too."

"Thanks, Rogue," Evelynn murmured as she tightened her embrace.

"Of course, Ev," Akali responded, her hands automatically reaching up to lightly grasp the diva's hand.

"I'll be upstairs." And then she was gone.

As soon as her footsteps could no longer be heard on the stairs, the rapper dropped to her knees. Her eyes started to water as she tried look at Ahri's face, and she struggled to not collapse into a pile on the floor.

"Akali? Are you okay? What just happened?" Ahri questioned as she positioned herself against the blue-eyed woman to offer some stability.

"I can't lose her," she whispered, fighting to justify herself through the tears. "Ahri, I'm losing her and I don't know what to do."

"But… she was just all touchy-feely on you a second ago," the blonde recalled. "How are you losing her?"

The rapper took a deep breath as she struggled with how to explain this to her bandmate. "Two nights ago, she asked if she could sleep with me, and_ not_ like that, before you ask. She asked me to hold her because she needed to be close to someone," she paused and wiped her nose. "Then, yesterday, she told me that what had happened reminded her of what she was missing in her life and asked if I would help her find, as she put it, her soulmate. Now, I've agreed to go with her on a date with some stranger and everything is falling apart."

Ahri sighed heavily, her palm meeting her forehead. "That woman is the biggest idiot I've _ever_ known." The blonde placed a hand under her chin and tilted her head so she was looking up at her. "Listen to me. I have never seen Eve as happy as she's been since you showed up. She's changed so much, and you've helped her break free of so many self-degrading habits. When she looks at you, she doesn't look at you like just a friend, there is need there, adoration. Eve needs you, she's just blind, apparently. She'll realize what you are to her eventually."

Akali couldn't find words, so she just wrapped her arms around Ahri until she could speak. "Thank you. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that."

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*****Content warning** – Slight mental breakdown, unintentional friendzoning***


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11 – Will this be the last time?

The cold liquid shocked her hot skin as the rapper splashed water from the kitchen sink onto her face. Eventually she would need to go upstairs and be with Evelynn, and the last thing she wanted her to be aware of was her mental breakdown moments ago. _I can't make this about me. Her happiness is what I'm fighting for, not my own. _She forced herself climb the stairs once she felt mostly composed, and entered the diva's room.

The main room was empty, so Akali just assumed that the magenta-haired woman was in the bathroom. She climbed up onto the bed to wait until she came out, but Evelynn must have heard her.

"Darling, come here."

The rapper sighed. "How naked are you?"

"That's not important, come here. I want to talk with you."

She rolled her eyes and hopped down from the bed, not entirely sure what to expect from the golden-eyed woman. Akali knew better than to just walk in, so she aimed her gaze at the floor, hoping to avoid seeing anything that might cloud her judgement.

"Rogue, look at me," she coaxed. The sound of shifting water could be heard from the bathtub.

The rapper steeled herself, knowing that if she didn't do what it was Evelynn asked, surely, she'd find a way to make this into a much more compromising situation. She directed her gaze to meet the other woman's. _Okay, could have been worse, I think._

The diva was sitting in her bath, but she had more than enough bubbles in it to cover everything that needed to be. A hand pulled up from out of the water and pointed towards the edge of the tub. Akali moved to sit there, not caring about the water or bubbles that were about to soak her clothes.

"Tell me what's wrong," Evelynn insisted as she moved to the other side of the bath and rested her head against the rapper's thigh. "You seem anxious."

The blue-eyed woman was not exactly expecting the call out, so it took her a while to come up with a viable excuse.

"I'm just not feeling well," she murmured as her gaze wandered to the far wall.

"Darling, lie to me again and I'm pulling you in here with me."

Akali took a deep breath and arranged her thoughts before responding again. "I guess…. I guess I'm just worried that you're going to go through all this and get hurt again. I suppose I'm just not ready to watch that happen."

"Oh, Rogue. Even if everything does go horribly, I'll be alright. I'll still have you."

"But what if things _do_ go well? Then we—," the rapper stopped, sighing as she realized she needed to be more fair about her choice of words. "Then_ I _lose _this. _You won't need me around anymore… I'm sorry, I'm being selfish."

"First, no. _This_ doesn't go anywhere. If I _do_ find someone, they will respect our friendship. If they _don't_, they aren't worth my time. Second, don't be an idiot. I will never find anything or anyone _so_ important to me that I'll no longer need you. And finally, don't you dare apologize to me for your concern about your own feelings. I care about you and if I ask why you're upset, I want you to tell me, not bottle everything up, because your needs are important to me." Evelynn scooped up a small handful of bubbles and dropped them on Akali's nose. "Now stop looking so sad and grab me a towel."

She got up, flung the soap from her face back at the diva, and grabbed a towel from the rack by the door. The sound of splashing water came from the bath, and the rapper held the towel out behind her, her vision glued to the door.

"Rogue," the woman purred as her wet footsteps crossed the tile floor. She ignored the towel that Akali was offering, and stepped right behind her. "You know, the longer you don't look, the harder I'm going to try," she whispered into the rapper's ear. The diva nestled her face into the side of her neck, as arms wrapped around her midsection and her naked, wet body pressed into her backside. Her fingers teased the hem of her shirt, lifting it just enough so that her fingertips could softly caress the smooth skin over her hipbones.

Before Akali could refocus on what was happening, she found herself leaning into the pressure from Evelynn's form, and her head was tilted to allow the diva better access to the flesh along her throat. She let out a long sigh against the nape of the blue-eyed woman's neck. "You… confuse me. I don't even know what to do with you," the magenta-haired woman admitted quietly, her voice slightly wavering, breath quickened, as she pulled herself away from the rapper, grabbing the towel that was still clenched in her now drooping hand, and moved into her closet

Akali was unable to move. She was too worked up. Had Evelynn not backed off when she did, her desires probably would have gotten the best of her. _I don't think she would have stopped me_, she considered. Thoughts of how the diva might have touched her had she reciprocated flooded her mind. All she needed to do was turn around and her lips could have been trailing across that delicate pale skin. _No, I need to stop thinking about this. _The rapper pressed her back against the wall and silently slid down to the floor. Her head was sloped back as she tried to steady her breathing and quell the lust-filled heat that had spread throughout her body.

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me look flawless," a voice called from within the closet, bringing Akali back to reality.

"You already do, Ev."

"How would you know, you won't even look at me," she retorted playfully. "Besides, I'm pretty sure going out naked would give the wrong impression."

"Fine." She managed to remove herself from the floor so she could fulfil the promise she had made earlier.

Akali began to pick through the outfits that were hanging up, while Evelynn watched her from the doorway.

"I don't know if you knew this," the diva said cheekily after a few minutes, "but you're all wet."

"Hmm, I wonder why…" she laughed sarcastically.

"Once you pick out what I'm wearing, you can use my shower if you'd like."

"So, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I don't know if I one hundred percent trust what you'd do if I was naked and vulnerable in your room," the rapper teased as she threw an accusatory glance in the other woman's direction.

"You know me so well," Evelynn chuckled, "but I'll leave you alone, promise."

Eventually, Akali had decided on a knee length black pencil skirt, a lowcut lavender top, a black cardigan, and some simple black heels.

"Isn't this a little… plain?" the diva commented as she looked through the items.

"Ev, it's a date, not a man hunt."

"Whatever. Now go take a shower, darling. I want you to look nice too, even though you'll just be watching to make sure I don't get into too much trouble," she winked. "Oh, and I'm going to go find you something to wear, so don't worry about that."

"I swear if you bring me some skimpy piece of cloth that Ahri forced me to buy…"

"You'll wear it and look gorgeous. I'll be back."

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Evelynn quickly threw on the clothes that Akali had chosen and snuck over to the other woman's bedroom. She found that the rapper really didn't have much to choose from, and made a mental note to change that later. Though, it didn't take long for her to discover what she had meant by the clothing the blonde picked out. She couldn't help but let out a laugh when she imagined the blue-eyed woman wearing a tiny pink strappy dress that she found, not because it wouldn't look tantalizing, but because she would never be caught dead wearing something this revealing.

She went over to the side of the closet that held the outfits that Akali would normally wear, and it was nothing but pants and shorts and tank tops. _We can do better. _The pile of clothes that were bunched up in the corner seemed much more promising.

Evelynn raised an eyebrow when she came across some sheer, lace-trimmed lingerie pieces. _Oh, this will be fun, _she decided. She finally spotted a garment that was _exactly_ what she was hoping for. It was a small, tight fitting black dress that left little to the imagination. The back was lowcut to the waist, filled in by a sheer piece of black fabric, while front was also cut down to the mid-torso, connected by the same mesh material. Its length would come to about mid-thigh, with a fairly revealing slit going up one side. There was no doubt that the cloth would hug every inch of her body, and the diva couldn't wait to see it on. She found some black, non-heeled, thigh-high boots since she knew she wouldn't be able to talk the rapper into a pair of stilettos. The dress, boots, and some lacy panties were added to the pile of lingerie, and she toted her finds back to her own room.

The shower was no longer running, so Evelynn went over and knocked on the door.

"Oh Rogue, I have something for you," she sang mischievously.

The door cracked open and Akali's blue eyes peeked out at her expectantly, as she reached her hand out to grab what the diva had brought her.

"Oh no, you've got to come out to get them," she hummed as she nonchalantly wandered back over to the pile of clothes lying on her bed.

The woman huffed as she fastened the towel around herself and walked over to the bed. Her long, wet hair clung to her cheeks and droplets of water slowly ran over her alluring collarbones.

"You could just wear that, I wouldn't mind," the diva suggested as she took in every detail of Akali's figure. "Oh, and you've been holding out on me," she purred, pulling the lacy intimate wear up into view. The blush that instantly spread across the rapper's cheeks was what she lived for.

"I'm _not_ wearing that. Ever."

"Aww, not even for _me_?" she pouted.

Akali wouldn't meet her gaze. "Please tell me you didn't just bring that," she pleaded, avoiding the diva's question.

"Fine, here," the magenta-haired woman gave in as she tossed the dress over to her.

"Ev, this is exactly what I told you _not_ to bring me."

"And I thought you knew me better than that. Have you even tried it on?"

"Well, no, because I prefer to wear clothes that are actually practical," the rapper scoffed.

"Put it on."

"Do I have to?"

"Please?"

Akali sighed and headed towards the bathroom, defeated.

"Oh, you'll want these," Evelynn mentioned as she flung the lacy panties at the other woman and winked.

"You're insufferable."

"I know."

After a few minutes had passed, the diva heard the door handle click.

"Okay, so it doesn't look as terrible as I thought it would," she admitted nervously from behind the cracked door, "but I need your help zipping it."

The golden-eyed woman jumped off the edge of the bed went to the door, swinging it open.

"Oh," was all she could manage to choke out once she saw Akali standing by the mirror. Evelynn had only ever seen her in tomboyish clothes, and while she expected that she'd look good in the dress, she obviously hadn't prepared herself well enough.

"Do you not like it?" the rapper inquired shyly.

"You look amazing, actually. I've just never seen you in something like that, it… caught me off guard," she admitted as she walked up behind the burgundy-haired woman. Her hand rose up to the base of her neck, and her fingers grazed down the center of Akali's bare back, a shiver coming from beneath her touch. The diva could smell her lavender scented shampoo coming from the rapper's hair as she stepped closer and pressed her forehead against the back of the woman's head. She wanted nothing more than to slip the fabric draped over Akali's shoulders down her arms and extract her from the dress she had just put on. She breathed. _You're better than this, _she scolded herself. _And she deserves better than to be made into my plaything. _Her fingers grasped the zipper and pulled it up, and she stepped away from the woman who was driving her impulses crazy. Evelynn feigned composure and spun the rapper around to face her. Akali's cheeks were flushed, and she wouldn't look her in the eyes.

"You know, maybe you shouldn't wear that. I might end up having to abandon my date to keep everyone from touching you."

"Ha, very funny. Now you have to help the rest of me look good."

The diva spent the next few hours ensuring that rapper looked perfect. She curled her hair, pulling it into a messy up-do, and brushed some natural makeup tones onto her face, topped off with a strikingly dark sanguine red lipstick. Her focus was so settled on Akali that she didn't care if she had any time left to get ready herself. She just left her hair down and quickly applied some purple eyeshadow.

"Are you ready, darling?" she asked as she pulled on her jacket.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

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"Can you at least pretend to be excited?" Evelynn begged as she drove, poking at the rapper's thigh playfully.

"I'll try, no promises."

"Hey, just think. With a release for all my pent-up sexual frustration, _maybe_ I'll stop trying to get you to check out my naked body," she joked. "Maybe, no promises."

Akali rolled her eyes. _And I'll just soak in all my pent-up sexual frustration, that you caused, mind you, _she thought bitterly.

The diva pulled up and parked in her usual location behind the club. Akali's nerves still hadn't settled.

"Rogue," Evelynn said as she slid her seat back and pulled the rapper's head down into her lap. She didn't resist. The magenta-haired woman's fingers moved to trace along her temple and down her jaw. "If you don't want me to do this, I won't. You mean way more to me than some potential romantic interest, and I'd do anything to keep from making you unhappy."

Akali felt awful. Her selfish wishes were coming between Evelynn and her pleasure, and that was never her intention.

"Ev, all I want is for you to be happy. If this will make you happy, then I'm here for you. It's really that simple."

"Okay," she sighed anxiously. "Let's go then."

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*****Content warning** – Teasing***


	12. Chapter 12

***A/N – another rough chapter, CW's at the bottom***

Ch 12 – As the darkness sets in

It was Saturday night, and the nightclub was busy as always. Marques let them in the back like usual, but Evelynn didn't request their normal booth.

"Well ladies, you know where to find me," the man said with a wink as he wandered back out of the hall, presumably to go wait tables.

"It would probably be best for me to meet up with my date first, then you find an appropriate place to watch from," the diva suggested.

"Sure," Akali responded, her gaze fixed on the fingernails she was picking at. "Oh, and good luck Ev. You deserve this."

Evelynn stepped up to meet the rapper. "Look at me," she said quietly as she slipped her index finger beneath the woman's chin, forcing her to look up from the floor. "Thank you, Rogue," she whispered as golden-eyes locked with her blue ones. "I don't think I could do this without you." The diva wrapped her arms around Akali and pulled her against her chest, gripping her tightly like she was holding on for dear life.

She felt her eyes start to water, and blinked the moisture away before Evelynn pulled away from her.

"I'll see you soon."

And just like that, she was gone. As far as Akali knew, that may have been the last embrace she would share the woman she had fallen so deeply in love with. That realization shook her chest with agonizing pain, and before she could stop it, tears flowed freely down her cheeks. _Good thing Ev buys expensive makeup_, she recalled as she wiped her eyes. Thankfully, the club was mostly dark and it was unlikely that the diva would be able to notice her puffy eyes.

She made her way to the main room, her eyes scanning for Evelynn. It didn't take long before she saw her sitting with the man from the photo this morning, in a booth on the far end of the room. The wall between the hall exit and the bar was relatively unoccupied, and Akali found she had a pretty good view of the two as she stood with her back against it. She positioned the diva's pink sunglasses that she had swiped from her car on the way in over her eyes.

The rapper watched as they chatted casually for a few minutes, before the man got up and walked over to the bar. The nearest open spot was only a few spaces away from Akali, so his voice was audible as he ordered.

"Two Jack and Cokes," he said briefly to the woman at the counter, and she didn't miss the way his eyes lingered a little too long as the bartender sauntered over to collect two glasses. _Well this guy sure is a winner, _she sighed internally. His two drinks were placed on the counter. "Just put it on my tab," he grumbled, slightly irritated when the woman stood there expecting payment. As soon as she walked over to serve someone else, the man spent a few moments swiveling his head, assessing his surroundings, before reaching into his pocket. Akali had never been more grateful for all the martial arts training she had gone through as a child. He was clearly practiced as he popped the lid off a small vial and stealthily poured its clear contents into one of the drinks in a matter of seconds. The glasses were picked up and he began to make his way back to the booth.

Akali was quick to follow. She wove through the mob of people dancing with practiced ease, and made a plan to arrive at the table just as the man would sit and place down the drinks. He acted exactly as the rapper expected to, and as soon as he had squeezed onto the bench, she sat down beside him.

"Uhh, can I help you?" the man stuttered in confusion.

She noticed Evelynn's eyes go wide, but she didn't speak, and the man was too distracted to notice.

"I'm Akali, a close friend of this lovely woman here," she gestured towards the diva. "It's _great _to make your acquaintance, but I _think_ you may have made a bit of a mistake."

"… And that would be?"

She dropped the faux charm and her voice grew cold. "I believe you may have gotten your drinks mixed up," she insisted as her gaze pierced into the man.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he retorted.

_Oh, he's a good liar, _Akali commended him internally. "If it's not an issue, maybe you should just switch back, for good measure."

"And I think you should leave," he growled aggressively, acting as though the woman beside him was crazy.

A split second was all it took for the rapper to draw the kunai from her boot, pin him to the wall, and press the sharp blade against his throat. The room was foggy enough that they would likely not be disturbed, but there's no way the man didn't see the fire in her eyes.

"You'll drink _that, _or the two of us can make our way out back, and I'll watch the blood drain from your neck before I leave your filthy corpse for the scavengers," she commanded through gritted teeth, the tip of her knife digging just deep enough to break the skin, causing a small bead of red to pool at the point.

"Do something!" he scowled at Evelynn, panic starting to spread across his face.

The diva shrugged. "I don't know, I've seen what she can do with that thing. I certainly wouldn't want to be in your place right now." She slid her glass across the table into his reach.

He visibly gulped. "We can work something out, please…"

"You've been given your options."

His hand shakily grabbed the cup and brought it to his mouth. He let a small amount of the liquid pass through his lips.

"_All of it._" The blade dug deeper and the man's eyes began to water before he drained all but the ice from the glass.

Akali removed the kunai from his throat, cleaned off the blood on his nice white jacket, and slipped it back into her boot.

"So, how's the date going, Ev?" she asked, taunting the man beside her.

"I don't know, he seemed like a sleaze-ball from the moment I sat down, so better now."

That's all it took before the diva's date slumped over, his head drooping backwards and eyes glazed over.

"Can I take you home now?" the rapper asked gently.

Evelynn just nodded, the reality of what just happened finally sinking in.

Akali took her hand and led her to the exit. Before they left, the blue-eyed woman took a second to fill Marques in on what happened, and told him to call the police. As soon as the diva made it outside, she instantly braced herself against the wall and vomited. The rapper held her magenta hair back away from her face, and rubbed her back lightly with her free hand.

"I want to go," Evelynn muttered after a few minutes. "I don't know if I should drive." She handed the keys to Akali.

There was a time when the rapper would have _never _even considered the idea of driving one of the diva's ridiculously expensive cars, but now, she just wanted to get the golden-eyed woman home.

After a few minutes of them sitting together in silence, Evelynn finally spoke.

"Rogue, what's wrong with me?"

"What? Nothing is wrong with you."

"If that were true, I'd be capable of attracting someone decent. Why can't anyone look past my body and see me like a normal fucking human being?"

"These things take time, Ev. You can't expect everything to be perfect right away. You don't just find, _that_, overnight."

"For the past _six years_, I've wanted _nothing_ but to have someone hold me with the slightest semblance of affection. Until you, that had never happened. _Ever_. I just felt like eventually something good had to come from my misery. I was obviously wrong." Her voice started to crack as tears began to stream down her red cheeks. " I didn't think I was asking for much. I'm starting to believe I was never meant to be happy."

"… Did I not make you happy? At all?"

"Of course you did, don't be foolish. The time I had with _you_ was the only thing I found myself looking forward to. I didn't have to try to be perfect for _you_. You're my best friend, Rogue."

"...I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you."

"You're the only one who has ever done _anything_ for me. I mean, Ahri and Kai'Sa are great, but they aren't you." Evelynn paused. "Do you think I'm destined to be alone? Maybe I deserve this for being an awful person, you know, karma and such."

"Don't talk that way. You'll find someone who's perfect for you, I promise."

The diva just nodded, looking exhausted, her eyes swollen from the crying. Akali placed her hand on the woman's leg, hoping to distract her from the terrible thoughts that seemed to be eating her up inside. She pulled the car into the garage, got out, and walked over to help Evelynn up. When they got to the upstairs hallway, the diva turned to her, her golden eyes full of emptiness.

"I hope you don't mind, but I think I want to be alone tonight. I have a lot to think about," she murmured, her voice lacking any of her usual energy.

"I understand. If you need me, I'll be here, okay?"

"I know. You always have been." The diva's eyes began to water as she took Akali's face in her hands and placed her lips against her forehead, leaving behind a gentle kiss. "Sleep well, darling."

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Evelynn's room was pitch black, but she felt like the darkness was the safest place for her to be. The thought of seeing how much of a mess she was made her feel sick. She felt her way to her dresser, opened the second drawer, and retrieved a bottle of whiskey before falling onto her bed. Her comforter was cold and unwelcoming, and she found that sharing a bed with Akali the last few nights made the embrace of slumber much less lonely.

The diva curled up with her back against the headboard, and took a mouthful from the bottle.

_What am I even doing with myself? I walk around like some pretentious, arrogant, piece of meat and expect to find my soulmate. What a joke. _

She took another drink.

_For so long, I lived for the attention, and now here I am, with nothing more than a slutty past to show for it. _

Another drink. The alcohol burned, but she didn't care. Evelynn just wanted everything to stop.

_I'm so desperate that I can't even see the red flags before someone tries to drug me, or defile me, or both. I was just hoping that maybe, in the end, one of them will find it in themselves to look at me with affection, not lust. _

She drank. Nearly a fourth of the container was already gone.

_I want to lay next to someone every night who doesn't feel like they need to get me naked, only to dispose of me the next morning. But I don't deserve that. I've never deserved that._

Her mind was getting fuzzy, but that didn't keep her lips from the bottle. Her head was throbbing, and she fumbled around in the drawer of her nightstand for her container of ibuprofen, hoping to relieve some of the pain.

_I'm not strong enough for this. I can't do this anymore._

Her chest tightened as she looked down at the medication she clutched in her hand. She flicked on the light atop her side table, and searched around for a pen and paper.

_I'm tired of hurting the people around me, I'm tired of hurting myself, and I'm tired of hurting you, Rogue._

She could hardly see straight, but the diva was desperate to get her thoughts onto paper.

'Rogue,

You held me when no one else would. You mean the world to me. I'm sorry, darling. I'm just not strong enough.

Ev'

The script was sloppy, but still legible. She carefully folded her note and placed it on the table. Before she could change her mind, she broke open the pill bottle and forced as many tablets as she could manage down her throat, and chugged the whiskey to wash it all down.

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Akali was restless. All she could think about was how empty her bed was and the things she couldn't do for the woman in the room next to her. Worry welled up inside her, and it nearly made her nauseous. Sleep had never felt so evasive. _Maybe I should go check on her, _she considered. The last thing she wanted was to irritate Evelynn when she had asked to be alone. So, she sat, staring at the wall, trying to breathe and clear her mind.

The crying that echoed through the wall had stopped. Akali hoped that the diva was finally able to rest.

A loud thud vibrated the wall, and the rapper could hear the magenta-haired woman coughing violently, her tears returning. _I don't care if she's mad, I need to be sure she's okay. _She flung off her blanket and hurried to Evelynn's door. She could hear the woman's heavy, erratic breathing from the other side, followed by the sound of glass shattering against the floor.

"Ev?" she called out as she opened the door.

On the bed she found the diva lying awkwardly, her eyes looking off distantly. Whiskey was spilling out across the hardwood flooring, and Akali watched as an empty pill bottle rolled out of the woman's hand, splashing down into the pool of liquid.

"No, _no. _Evelynn, you didn't…" she cried. "Ahri!" the rapper screamed as she jumped onto the bed, "Help me!" Her sobs threatened to choke her as she shook the diva, the golden-eyed woman's breathing becoming increasingly shallower.

"Akali, what's wr–… oh my god, what happened?!"

"You have to call someone, fast, she's barely breathing…"

The panicked woman tried to shove her fingers down her throat to induce vomiting, but it was pointless, she was too lethargic.

"Ev, don't leave me… I need you," she murmured through her weeping, as she wrapped her arms around the woman she loved and held her, afraid she would slip away if she wasn't being anchored to this realm.

Evelynn's limp body began to convulse under her, but Akali didn't let her go. Minutes that felt like hours passed before the paramedics arrived, and they immediately moved the diva into the back of an ambulance, away from the rapper who couldn't find the strength to get up.

"Akali?" the blondes voice sounded quietly from the doorway after the sirens faded away.

Her and Kai'Sa entered the room, both of their eyes filled with shock.

"Are you okay?" Kai'Sa asked her timidly.

The rapper couldn't find the words, so she just slowly shook her head, her cheek clinging to the covers beneath her which were soaked by her tears.

"She'll want to see you when she wakes up, you know. I think we should get there before that happens," Ahri reminded her optimistically, moving to her side, offering to help her up.

Akali wasn't sure if Evelynn wanted to see her, but she knew she had to be there for her. She nodded and tried to stand up. Her legs threatened to give out, but the fox-woman caught her. With both of her bandmates guiding her, they loaded into the car and made towards the hospital.

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*****Content warning** – Attempted date rape, threats of violence, attempted suicide, overdose, alcohol abuse***


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 13 – I love you too

The lights in the lobby were dimmed since it was after midnight, but every so often the doors leading down one of the emergency room corridors would open, the florescent bulbs temporarily blinding Akali. She sat on the floor against a large air conditioning unit, her forehead resting on her knees as she used the sound of the blowing fans behind her to drown out her thoughts. Ahri was sitting in a chair to her left, and Kai'Sa had fallen asleep, her head now resting against the singer's shoulder. They were still waiting for an update on Evelynn's condition. The last the rapper had heard, she was in the process of having her stomach pumped, her state still unstable.

"Hey Akali," Ahri said as she looked down at her and pulled a small piece of paper out of her jacket pocket, "I think this was meant for you."

Without lifting her head, she reached an arm up to take whatever the fox-woman had for her. She moved the note into her lap and opened it. After reading it, her eyes began to water again.

"Ahri, I don't think I can live without her, if, you know…"

"She's going to be fine, dear. If anyone in the world is a fighter, it's her," the blonde reassured her, smoothing the hair on the top of her head.

As if on cue, a nurse approached them, asking them to follow her. Ahri woke the dancer and they were led to an elevator which brought them up to the fourth floor. As they came to a closed door, the woman turned around and explained a few things to the three of them.

"She's stable, but her body is still fighting through the withdrawal symptoms due to the amount of medication that was absorbed before we could pump her stomach. She hasn't woken up since the procedure, and technically visiting hours don't start until 8am, so you won't have but a few minutes, but hopefully this will help ease your minds."

The door clicked open, and she gestured for them to enter the room.

Evelynn was lying in the hospital bed, covered up by a thin blanket. An oxygen mask was strapped around her pale face, her lack of color accentuating the dark bags under her eyes. Wires and IV lines were draped from her arm and chest, and the steady rise and fall of her chest was just barely visible.

Akali walked up beside her, and she could no longer find the strength to stand. She dropped to her knees, her head falling next to the diva's lightly shaking hand. She reached up and took it gently in her own, placing her damp cheek against her cold fingers.

"Oh Ev," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you."

The other two women and the nurse stood back, letting Akali have her much needed moment with Evelynn, before the nurse was required to usher them back out of the room.

"Remember, 8am," she said, leaving them in the lobby again.

"It'd probably be best if we went home and got some sleep," the blonde suggested, mostly to the rapper.

"You two can go, I'm not leaving."

"I figured you'd say that. If you need anything, call us. We'll be back by eight."

Akali nodded and drifted back over to the spot she had been sitting before. She fell into place on the floor, and her eyes stared distantly at the far wall. _At least she's alive, she's breathing_, the rapper reminded herself. Her body was aching from exhaustion, but her eyelids remained glued open, sleep refusing to come. She feared that if she slept, Evelynn would be gone when she woke, so she just watched the hands on the clock as they slowly ticked forward.

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It seemed like forever had passed before Akali's phone beeped, telling her it was 7:55am. She still hadn't slept, but most of her tiredness dissipated once she thought of seeing Evelynn again. Her body was stiff from sitting on the cold floor for the past seven hours, and getting up proved to be a bit of a struggle. She watched as the next few minutes went by agonizingly slow, until it was finally eight. Ahri and Kai'Sa hadn't arrived yet, but the rapper didn't care.

Evelynn's room door was cracked when she got there, and one of the nurses was inside running a few tests.

"Good morning. You're Akali, aren't you?" she inquired as she noticed the rapper enter.

"Mhmm," she hummed as she walked over to the chair beside the bed and sat down, eyes not moving from the diva's still form.

"She's going to be okay, but I just wanted to check and see how you were doing. A lot of your fans were starting to notice how, well… close you two were becoming, and I hope you're taking care of yourself."

"Heh. I wish she could see that," she murmured. "And yeah, it's been rough, but I'm surviving."

Before the nurse could say anymore, her other bandmates slowly pushed open the door and joined her.

"Ahri. Kai'Sa," the nurse greeted as they came inside. "I was just telling Akali that she's doing fine. She still hasn't woken up, but her vitals are steady. At this point, all we can do is wait for her body to filter the rest of the medication out of her system, which realistically should be by day's end."

"That's great!" the dancer exclaimed as she looked down at her unconscious friend. "When can she come home?"

"If all goes well, she'll be able to leave first thing in the morning. Though, I would strongly recommend that she gets in to see a therapist as soon as possible."

Ahri nodded. "Of course, and thank you all for your help. It means a lot to know that Eve is in good hands."

The nurse nodded and moved to leave. "I'll be back to check in occasionally, just hit the button on the side of the bed if you need anything," she mentioned as she clicked the door shut.

"Did you sleep?" the fox-woman asked as she kneeled in front of the rapper.

She shook her head, still not looking away from Evelynn.

"Have you eaten?"

"No, I'm not hungry," she whispered.

"Well, we brought you some breakfast in case you change your mind. She would want you to take care of yourself," Ahri reminded her. "Anyways, we just stopped by to check on you both. We've got a lot to do, namely cancelling or rescheduling everything we had planned for the near future, which, to be honest, I'm not entirely torn up over. Keep us updated, dear. If either of you need anything, just call."

"Thanks, I will."

The singer and dancer left them alone. Akali curled up in the plush chair she had been sitting in and dropped her head against the backrest, her gaze never leaving the diva. It took only minutes before her eyes were closed and her fatigue pulled her into darkness.

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"Rogue?"

Upon hearing the nickname, Akali's eyes blinked open. She found Evelynn's golden eyes looking at her anxiously from the bed.

"I'm sorry I woke y–,"

Her apology was cut short by the rapper as she got up, leaned over the bed, and embraced the magenta-haired woman so tightly that she squeezed the air from her lungs.

"Ev, don't you _ever_ do that to me again," she scolded as her eyes started to well up again.

"I won't be able to if you don't let me breathe soon, darling."

"Oh, sorry," she apologized as she took a seat next to Evelynn on the bed. "How are you doing."

"Well, I'm not dead, so better than I should be, I suppose," the diva joked.

"Why didn't you just ask me for help?"

"I ask _so_ much of you Rogue, I didn't want to bother you," the golden-eyed woman admitted. "And besides, I was _far_ too drunk, I doubt I would have made it to your room if I tried."

"What happened?"

"I can't remember exactly, but I couldn't stop thinking about how awful I've been, and how my needs are much more than what I deserve. I guess the thought of never finding someone who, you know, felt _that_ way about me was too daunting."

Akali thought she knew fear. Rejection had torn her apart in the past, and the idea of going through all that again had terrified her. But that wasn't fear, not even close. What she had experienced last night, the horror of almost losing the one person who made her look forward to waking up every day, _that _was fear. Everything else looked so pale in comparison. _I guess there's not much left for me to lose, _she concluded.

"Ev," she said as she grasped the other woman's hand and took a deep breath. "I want you to know that _I_ love you."

"Well, yeah, I know you and Ahri and Kai–,"

"No, Evelynn, I _love_ you. Over the last month-and-a-half I have fallen so madly in love with you, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you. I was _so_ afraid that if I had said anything, you would have pushed me away, thinking that I was just making it all up so you could be happy. The thought of losing you terrified me so much, that I was willing to sit there and play the part of _whatever_ you needed me to be, pretending to be content while you searched for someone who I knew would never be able to love you as much as I did. I promised myself that I would be by your side, as long as you'd have me, even if it meant my heart being ripped to shreds every single time that I watched some other person make you smile." Akali tried to calm the nerves that were causing her hands to shake. "I know this is a lot right now, but Ev, I almost lost you. I held you in my arms and watched as the life drained out of you, and I had never felt so lost."

Before she could say anymore, the door to the room clicked open and a different nurse entered.

"I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over for the day. The good news is that Evelynn should be able to go bright and early as long as everything checks out."

Akali realized that she hadn't thought to check the clock after she woke up. She also hadn't expected to sleep for 11 hours, but it was too late to do anything about it.

"We can talk more about this later if you'd like," the rapper murmured. "I'll be back to get you as soon as they'll let me." She gave Evelynn's hand one last squeeze before getting up and exiting the room.

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To say that Evelynn was stunned was an understatement. It took the better part of the hour for her to process what Akali had told her, and she was still struggling to make any sense of it. Her head was pounding from thinking too hard, or maybe it was because she had yet to eat since she arriving in the hospital.

The diva found her phone lying on the table beside her bed. She absentmindedly picked it up, trying to distract herself from the emotions she had piling up. Her phone background was a photo she had taken with Akali when they had traveled to Japan a few weeks ago for that concert. Evelynn was standing behind the rapper, chin resting on her shoulder. The smile on the blue-eyed woman's face could have lit up the world.

She navigated to her contacts and called Ahri. _Perhaps she can help me work through this._

"Eve! You're awake," the blonde exclaimed when she picked up on the other end. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Are you alone?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Can I ask you something really stupid and fairly embarrassing?"

"I doubt that whatever you're going to ask is stupid," Ahri retorted, "but yes, you can."

Evelynn breathed deeply, thinking for a moment about how to word her question. "How do you know if you, um… love someone?"

"Oh…_oh. _Well, usually you can tell that you love someone if you think about them all the time, or if they can calm you down in ways that no one else can. You'll find yourself looking for comfort from them, even if it's something as simple as sitting in silence together."

"Okay."

"Here, let's try something a little different," the fox-woman continued. "I want you to imagine that one of the random people you've gone home with in the past just died. How does that affect you?"

"I don't really care. How is this supposed to help?"

"Let me finish. Now, imagine you woke up to find that me or Bokkie were dead. How does that feel?"

"I would be upset, but I'm pretty certain I don't love either of you."

"Obviously. Last one, promise. Imagine Aka-"

"Stop. I know what you're about to say, and _don't_."

"_Why?_"

"Because I..." Evelynn paused, not entirely knowing how to respond. "_Oh_."

"_That's_ how you know," Ahri emphasized matter-of-factly.

"...Do you really think I love her?"

"Actually, I'm _certain_ you do... and so does Bokkie... and a fairly decent part of our fanbase, they post about you two all th-"

"Alright, I get it. But how can you tell?

"Eve, you _do_ know that friends don't touch each other like that, or practically undress each other with their eyes, constantly, mind you, _or tell each other that they mean the world to them in their suicide notes_, right?" the fox-woman pointed out dramatically. "Oh, and as far as I'm aware, I don't think you've slept with her yet, meaning you put your _ridiculously-high_ sex drive aside for the sake of her wellbeing. If that doesn't say you care about her, I don't know what does."

"Fair point. So... what do I do now?"

"What do you think I am, your personal decision maker? No. I just point out blatantly obvious things sometimes because one of my best friends is dense and stubborn. What happens now is on you, dear."

"Well, you're no help," Evelynn chuckled sarcastically.

"Whatever. Get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning."

The call disconnected and the diva set her phone down beside her. She didn't want to admit it, but having Ahri point everything out to her made the whole situation seem so obvious. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind that Akali would go to the ends of the earth to make sure she was happy, she had proven that much to her already. The hardest thing for her to get past was how much more honest and innocent of a person the rapper was when compared to her. _I'm a horrible, filthy person. What right do I have to see myself as worthy of her? _She dropped her head onto her pillow. Even though she had spent the better part of the last day unconscious, the last few hours were enough to sap what energy she had right out of her. The diva's eyes fluttered closed, and she hoped her dreams would help her decide how to handle tomorrow.

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Akali sat in her bathtub with only a candle to light the room. She had a towel propped behind her neck as she tried with all her strength to relax. Earlier, all she had wanted was for Evelynn to stop thinking she would never be loved, that she didn't consider what would happen next. _She called me her friend so many times, what if that's all she wanted us to be? What if she's so uncomfortable about my feelings towards her that she doesn't even want to look at me anymore? _The stress from not being able to decipher her future was weighing down hard, and time refused to speed up.

It was already 1am, but the rapper wasn't tired, considering she had slept for the majority of the day. _Maybe I'll go out,_ she decided. She went into Evelynn's room, grabbed a pair of pajama pants, her favorite Pentakill t-shirt, and some clean undergarments, before slipping the diva's car keys off of the wall-hook by the door.

The rest of the house was silent, and Akali quietly made her way to the garage, not wanting to have to explain where she was going. She loaded Evelynn's items into the backseat of the black Lamborghini and sat down in the driver's seat. The leather under her smelled vaguely of the lavender scent the diva would normally wear, and she found it intoxicating.

She didn't ever have a destination in mind, so the rapper just drove for a bit, the windows down and some ambient music playing through the speakers. At some point, she had left the boundaries of the city and for the first time in quite a while, she was able to clearly see the stars. After coming to a small lake, Akali parked the car and got out to lay in the grass. _I bet Ev would like it here. I should ask her to come with me some time, _she thought to herself as the sky's refection on the calm water caught her eye. _I guess, if she even still plans to talk to me, that is._

Hours passed and she continued to meditate by the lakeside. She felt the calmest that she'd been a few days, or since the last time she had fallen asleep next to Evelynn. Before she knew it, the sun began to peek over the horizon, bathing the lake in a striking orange light. Akali checked her phone, 7:04am. _Almost time. _She got back in the car and ventured towards the hospital, only slightly upset about having to leave her newfound sanctuary behind.

It was 7:43 when the rapper pulled into a parking space. She collected the bag with the diva's belongings and headed into the lobby. The nurse at the front desk was the same woman that brought them up to Evelynn's room the first night.

"Good morning, Akali!" she said as the rapper approached the counter. "I know it's not quite eight yet, but I think Evelynn is ready to go, so I can bring you to her room now if you'd like."

"That'd be amazing, thanks."

Her door was open when they got there, and the diva was sitting in the chair while another nurse went over her discharge paperwork. The magenta-haired woman noticed them enter, and her eyes instantly locked onto Akali's.

"Hey Rogue," she sighed, her lips curving up into a small smile.

"Hey Ev. I brought you something."

"You should be all set to go whenever you're ready. If you need anything else before you leave, we'll be at the desk," the nurse assured her before both of the caretakers exited the room.

"Is it food? I'm starving," Evelynn inquired hopefully.

"No, just some clean clothes, but we can stop for food on the way home if you'd like."

"That would be fantastic. I'm going to change and I'll meet you in the lobby."

It wasn't but a few minutes before the diva followed downstairs. Akali pulled the keys out of her pocket and tossed them to the other woman.

"I figure you might want these."

"I let you drive _once_, and here you are, acting like you own the place," Evelynn teased with a wink. "But yes, I do."

They got in the car and headed to find something to eat. There was a definite tension between them, but the diva didn't look as though she planned to start the conversation.

"So, uh, did you want to talk?" Akali started.

"When we get home, darling. I want to shower and eat first, I feel disgusting."

"Oh, yeah. Of course."

Evelynn picked up some carryout for all four of them before driving home. When they entered the kitchen, Ahri and Kai'Sa were there to greet them.

"Eve, you're back!" the dancer cried as she ran up to hug her.

"Glad to see you, Eve," the blonde approached as well, "but you smell terrible."

"Oh, don't worry, I know," Evelynn said with a smile, "but I need at least a few bites of food first, so get over it.

Akali set the bag of food on the table, snagging an eggroll before everything was pilfered through. The diva grabbed a small container of rice and a glass of water.

"I'll be back in twenty, going to eat and wash this filth off of myself," the golden-eyed woman said as she headed for the stairs.

"_Soooo_, what happened?" Ahri asked curiously as her gaze bore into Akali.

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently, not necessarily wanting to talk about last night's interaction right now.

"You know _exactly_ what I mean, spill it."

"We just… talked and stuff."

"Mhmm, keep going."

"Fine," she gave in, knowing that the fox-woman would never let it go. "I probably told her a _lot_ more than I probably should have, and now I have no idea what's going on because she's refused to talk about it yet."

"Oh, okay," the blonde shrugged, simply dropping the subject rather suspiciously. Akali didn't mind though, she was just glad to not have to go into more detail.

The rapper's phone buzzed in her pocket.

**New Message – Ev**

'Go outside to that place you like to sit all the time. I'll meet you in a few.'

"Guess she's ready to talk," she sighed, nervousness once again coursing through her.

"Oh, you'll be fine," Ahri laughed. "Good luck, dear!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The garden was as nice as it always was, though the heat of the summer was definitely showing as some of the flower petals were beginning to wrinkle. All the foliage around her sanctuary was lush and green, providing the best shade it had all season. She took a seat between the two benches, as she always did, and waited. The warm grass proved to be a reasonable distraction, the blades winding around her fingers, a strand or two being pulled free from the soil every now and then.

"Rogue," a voice said indifferently.

She looked up to find Evelynn standing in the opening to the alcove. Akali couldn't meet her gaze, her cheeks turning pink as she remembered why they were both here.

"Look at me," the diva asked as she sat, her legs straddling the rapper's.

She forced her eyes to meet Evelynn's, and her heart ached. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't ha—"

"Shut up," was all the woman on her lap said before she threaded her fingers through messy burgundy hair and pulled Akali's lips against her own.

Her touch was electrifying. The rapper had spent so long fantasizing about those lips, thinking about how soft they looked, and how they might feel on hers, but she hadn't considered the possibility that this might actually happen. It wasn't a long kiss, or a particularly passionate one, but it told her everything she had been hoping to hear.

Evelynn pulled away, her eyes full of adoration. Akali looked from her golden eyes, down to those supple lips, and back. She _needed_ more. Her body finally got a taste for the _one_ thing she'd been craving over everything else, and all her self-control was thrown to the wind.

"Rogue, I—"

Before the diva could even speak, Akali couldn't stop herself from pressing her lips aggressively back against Evelynn's. She could feel the other woman smile before she returned the action, not hesitating as she hungrily drove her tongue forward to meet the rapper's. Akali absentmindedly moved her hands up the back of diva's shirt, her fingernails lightly scratching the surface of her smooth skin.

After a few minutes, Evelynn broke the two of them apart, her breathing heavy. She trailed kisses down the blue-eyed woman's neck, before coming up to murmur in her ear.

"First, I wasn't expecting you to be this feisty. Second, if you claw me like that again, you're losing your clothes. And third, I can _literally_ smell how turned on you are right now, and if you don't calm yourself down, I will _personally_ rip those clothes off myself," Evelynn threatened before gently nibbling the rapper's earlobe.

Akali gently laced her fingers through the other woman's hair, guiding her face to be directly in front of hers. Her blue-eyes peered mischievously into the diva's, as a smirk appeared on her face. "Is that a promise?"

"Inside. _Now_," Evelynn commanded, as she jumped to her feet and grabbed the rapper's wrist.

Akali was certain she had never seen the diva move so fast in her life.

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***A/N – So that's it. Uh, I may still write a smutty epilogue, but probably not. I don't trust myself to write good smut. Lol. Hope you enjoyed it, thanks for sticking around for the whole thing, and leave me a comment if you did, it'll motivate me to write more! Much love – Mello 3***

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*****Content warning** –Suicide attempt recovery***

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